So my (29M) girlfriend (27F) surprised me last week with what I thought was a generous and sweet gesture: she told me she booked us a 10-day trip to Europe this summer. She showed me the itinerary, all excited — flights, hotels, the works — and said, "I wanted to do something special for us."

At first, I was really touched. I’ve been stressed with work, and it honestly sounded amazing. But then, two days later, she casually says “Just a heads up, everything’s booked and it came out to about $2,400 each, I used my card so you can just Venmo me”. I was like... wait, what? I told her I didn’t agree to any of this. I wasn’t consulted. She never mentioned anything about splitting or costs — she literally framed it as a gift, a surprise. I can afford the cost of the trip, thats not the issue. I just don’t like being financially blindsided like that.

When I brought this up, she got really defensive and emotional. Said I was being ungrateful, that I’m “always keeping score,” and that I’m “ruining something special she did for us.” She said I should’ve just assumed we were splitting it, because that’s what couples do. Then she said she should have just gone with her friend instead. “At least she’d appreciate it,”. She even brought up her friend who would’ve happily split the cost without ‘making a big deal.’ But whats funny about all this is I have been paying for all of our dates, fun activities, and vacations in the past. Apparently "what couples do" didn't matter then. I have literally never asked her to pay for my shit, never expected anything financially from her or any woman. SHE brought this up to me.

I can’t ignore how manipulative and ungrateful she has been. She made a huge financial decision for both of us, didn’t involve me at all, and then downplayed everything i've done in the past