My brother (29) asked for me (F 28) to lend him certain amount of money. He’s married with 1 kid, both my brother and sister-in-law have stable jobs and incomes but he’s not the best in money management nor his wife. Few days before my sister-in-law went into labor, my brother asked me to help him with money because he didn’t have enough saving to pay the hospital bill. They could have the insurance paid for the hospital bill, but he wanted to his kid to be born in my hometown and in a specific hospital where he was born (the insurance couldn’t cover this bcs he’s no longer live in my hometown, and the insurance will only cover the bill at the city he lived in). I told him I was on a vacation and I needed my money (I went on a vacation bcs months before he told me he was financially ready, and he told me I didn’t need to worry about the money). I asked him why didn’t he sell out his camera to help him cover his bill, but he didn’t want to and still asked me if I could help. I ended up giving him money as ‘a gift’ for my nephew and my mom helped him cover the rest.

Once he also asked to borrow some money to get his kid a vaccination because he spent his money on a trip with his family. FYI, we have a free vaccination from the insurance but my brother and my sister-in-law refused to use that bcs they said the free vaccination would get their kid a fever and made the kid feel uncomfortable. So, I lent him some money and he paid it back months later (not the whole money at once but in installment) which made me feel annoyed.

I alr told him that he can have this kind of idealism but he needs to be more responsible with the money and he said ‘One day if you ever had kid, you’ll understand’. I love my brother and I always think that I need to help my brother bcs he’s the only family I care about. But he makes me think that I’m his backup especially for his money problem because I earned more money and have no dependent.

He asked me to lend him money again to fix the roof at his house bcs he lent his money to his friend, and this friend ghosted him. He knew that I just recently started a new job and still living off my saving till I get my first salary. AITAH for refusing to lend him money?