So I’ve got a hell of a mess currently and I’m not sure if I’ve been an arsehole or my sister in laws husband has or what.

My wife’s sister - A is married to B. He’s not been working for about 8 months due to a serious but not life threatening illness but the treatment has left him quite unwell for long periods of time but thankfully he’s coming out the other side.

During that time, we’ve been helping them out where we can, looking after the kids and helping out with unexpected expenses. We’ve honestly been happy to do it and we’ve loved spending more time with their kids and I’ve enjoyed getting to know them better.

They were intending to go away this year before this all started.

Yesterday we were at the in-laws for a BBQ. Kids all happily playing and we mention that we are looking at holidays and would love them to come with us. They awkwardly start making excuses about money and I - probably over excitedly - said don’t even worry, after the year you’ve had we’ve got this.

A starts crying and B just explodes ranting about how it’s unbelievable would offer and we are arseholes for even bringing it up. (Not his exact words but I really dislike the word he used).

A said it was a lovely idea but seemed shocked by Bs reaction. Mother in law seemed shocked as well but father in law said he knows I meant well by it but then explained B is already feeling unhappy we’ve been helping out so much and is wondering how he would ever repay us (we had never suggested that was going to be necessary).

So I go to have a chat with B. Try and apologise if I offended him with ADHD energy and figure out what the fucks going on because by this point I’m totally confused by payment plans for money I didn’t for a second think I was getting back. I didn’t give it as a loan - I gave it because they are my wife’s family.

He’s quite upset and we had a chat, where he apologised for swearing at us but he’s just so stressed about repaying us. Which I said I never expected the money back to which he went off about not being a charity case. Like full on ranting and raving.

I tried to defuse him by saying it’s just a holiday, it’s not a big deal and which point he just storms out.

A then loads the kids up while he’s staring straight ahead in the car.

We’ve heard from A this morning who said they would love to come.

So AITAH?