I am a 36 year old dude

My father is a so called enabler who always chose other peoples opinions rather than using his own brain and experience to guide him. One day when I was about 6 he took to marry an abusive narcissist who gladly made all the decisions for him.

Instantly there were clashes between my stepmother and my two older siblings (9 and 12) who begged my father to leave her, but he simply ignored them. Out of option they decided that they would rather stay with our mentally ill mother than deal with the abuse and I was then left there alone to fend her off myself.

At 6 years old I told my father almost daily abut the abuse my stepmother would carry out which included beatings, emotional abuse, being gaslighted, social isolation, all without him lifting a finger.

Whenever things would turn me into a rage the issues would automatically fall on me, and she would even intentionally provoke me just so that she could prove her point of me being selfish, unhinged and not mentally stable.

At the age of 13 she convinced my father to have me assessed by a specialist and proceeded to give false statements that resulted in a diagnosis of of "severe developmental autism" and I was sent off to a special school for autistic people who were mentally stunted to the age of 8. For 4 years I was constantly told that I was mentally underdeveloped, that I couldn't trust my social capability.

That I should just accept the abuse I was subjected to because "I don't know what is real or not" I was then drugged to become more passive and uncaring about how I was mistreated.

I finally got out of that home at age 19 but I have been in shambles ever since, I cannot keep a job because I am constantly in fear of being rejected or mistreated, I can barely do my tasks and ask questions non stop because of the crippling fear of failure.

I had a reassessment done by a specialist and I don't even have Autism and probably never had...

I chose to go no contact with my father and stepmother not too long ago, but now my family keep telling me how selfish I am for not including them in my life. I love my father but I cannot trust him as long as he keep her in his life.

Basically my father and stepmother ruined me and my life and now I am somehow the the bad guy for not letting them be part of my life.

So, am I the bad guy here?