So, here's the thing. I (19F) have a friend (also 19F) who’s been in this toxic relationship for almost a year now. At first, I tried to stay neutral, thinking it was just a phase, but it’s getting worse. Every time she’s upset, she runs to me, complaining about how terrible her boyfriend is. He calls her names, insults her, controls who she talks to, and is just generally emotionally manipulative. Yet, after every argument, she forgives him and goes back, acting like nothing happened.

I’ve told her multiple times that she deserves better and that it’s not okay to let someone treat her like that, but she always defends him, saying, “It’s not that bad” or “I know he loves me deep down.” I get it; I really do. Love is complicated, and it’s hard to walk away from someone you’ve invested so much time in. But at this point, I feel like I’m just being dragged into her drama. I’ve become the person she vents to all the time, and I feel emotionally drained by it. It’s always the same cycle, and I’m tired of being the person who has to pick up the pieces every time she gets hurt.

So, recently, I decided to distance myself. I stopped giving her advice, stopped being her emotional support, and just started focusing on myself. She’s been messaging me a lot asking why I’m ignoring her, but I honestly don’t feel guilty. I can’t keep being in a friendship where I’m constantly dragged into someone’s unhealthy relationship and expected to clean up the mess they make.

Now, she’s calling me a “bad friend” for not supporting her through this. Her boyfriend has even tried to turn my other friends against me, saying that I’m “jealous” or “want her for myself,” which is so far from the truth. I just want her to realize that she deserves so much better, and I can’t keep enabling this behavior.

So, AITAH for distancing myself from this toxic situation, even if it means losing a friend?