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So my roommate has this big ol’ crusty looking lizard named Brutus that just chills in a tank and stares into the void. He says it’s his emotional support animal, but let’s be real — Brutus looks like he’s seen the fall of Rome and didn’t blink. Anyway, I wanted our apartment to look more “Pinterest-core,” so while my roommate was at a 3-day silent meditation retreat, I swapped Brutus with a vibrant, photogenic leopard gecko named “Churro.” Roomie came back, had a minor breakdown, and now calls me a “cold-blooded homewrecker.” AITAH?