This happened in Germany where there are laws set to protect animals My (30F) best friend (26F) has recently started dating this guy (28M) who is a walking red flag. I admit that I don’t actually know him because she refuses to bring him around us and I have a strong suspicion that he is isolating her from her friends, as all of her former friendships have devolved since she began dating him. They have only been together maybe two full months but in that time they have spent almost all of their free time together. She began blowing my husband and I off and kept saying how she wished we were all good friends but then declined to bring him around us every single time we invited them over.

Flashback to December: Best friend wanted a kitten. My husband and I decided that we would gift her a kitten but the only rescue options available were sets. So with her involvement, we picked up the kittens and got her everything she needed for them. We also made it very clear that since we are basically giving her a massive responsibility, that if anything happened we would take them no questions asked. For example, if they became too much work or if she needed help with bills rotating them to and from the vet.

In February she moved to an apartment where she is not allowed pets. She didn’t know this leading up to her move and I am friends with the building manager so I talked to him about it and he agreed to let it slide as long as there was no damage or complaints. One of the kittens recently went into heat and my friend expressed her frustration on a Wednesday while I was visiting her apartment. I told her then that I would take the cat in question so that she could relax. I planned to bring the cat to my home and then make and take her to a veterinarian. I had the carrier and the cat ready to go but she insists I leave her because she would miss the cat for the days she would be gone. I left the cat.

Some days ago she came to my house and her energy was really off. She was very argumentative and tried to fight with me about some very old stuff that has long been forgotten. During this interaction she told me that she had enough of the cat that had gone into heat and admitted that she threw the cat out in the middle of the night after I left her apartment. I was so shocked and honestly couldn’t even process the information in real time. I wrote her the next day how it shocked and disappointed me to hear that she threw her cat to the streets after I offered to take her and her response was „okay girly, I’ll be here if you ever need anything!“ like.. ending our friendship.

I only bring up her new boyfriend because her entire personality has changed since they met. She threw out her cat.. she stoped engaging with friends.. she is talking about moving into an apartment with him but she only just moved into her new place and she hasn’t even known this man for 3 months. He is also planning on moving to another town in the summer.

It was horrible. I’ve spent the last days really upset and trying to figure out what I could have done. Between my husband, myself and one of my friends who also knows the new couple, we have all kind of deduced that my actions didn’t warrant her ending our friendship over. All I see are red flags from this guy. She stopped cleaning her apartment, she is leaving the other cat in her unit all day to go and stay with her boyfriend and when she does go home she basically just feeds the cat, changes clothes and smokes (cigarettes) in her apartment.

After I got her text essentially ending our friendship, I waited two days and wrote my friend who manages her building. I told him that she released one of the cats and that she has been smoking inside her unit. He told me that he would address the situation and expressed how disgusted he was with the fact that she threw the cat outside. She will likely be fined and banned from renewing her lease and lose her deposit for the damage and smoking indoors.

Am I the asshole for reporting her out of upset? If she had simply not wanted to be friends anymore I would have left it alone but she threw the cat out after I stood in her apartment and told her I would take her.. I’m just too blinded by my anger over the cat.