I (20 y/o female) have been living with my mom (50 y/o female) since I was 16. There is a lot of backstory behind that but that’s not super relevant. Basically my mom has always been a complainer. She’s always got something going on health wise. The women on her side of the family have always had a victim mindset. I have more of the personality and drive from the women on my dad’s side of the family. We are a long line of fighters and I’m proud of that. My mom has certain medical conditions that wreck her sinus. Which causes her to cough violently 24/7. My mother also had a stroke a few years ago. Which put her in the ICU for weeks. This was a horrible time for both of us. I was practically all alone trying to take care of her. It was a very traumatic experience for her. But also for me. She thankfully made almost a full recovery. She has a few cognitive issues. But other than that, she is in a great place. Moral of the story, I love my mom and I’m willing to help her out and take care of her no matter what happens. She can’t control the things that have happened to her. And I used to really hurt for her.

But……she smokes weed. Like a lot. She goes outside often. Lights up a J, and comes back inside our small apartment and coughs her brains out. And then she complains over and over about how her “coughing is so bad for some reason”. I have begged her to stop smoking weed. She can’t breathe because of how bad it adds onto her already apparent medical condition. And on top of that. I am pretty sure you should notttt be smoking weed after having a stroke. She’s promised she would stop so many times and won’t. I’m tired of the unkept promises. She’s continually lied to me over and over about the smoking. When at this point I just want honesty. I feel like I’m raising her at this point….

I absolutely cannot stand the sound of her coughing. It lasts for so long. It’s so loud. She doesn’t suppress the sound. In the morning when I’m able to sleep in longer than she is….she coughs and coughs and coughs and it wakes me up. I usually have to put in my noise cancelling AirPods because of it. Her already apparent medical condition is one thing but smoking weed on top of it is making it worse. Yet she still complains and gripes about how it’s so strange her coughing is getting worse. The sound of her coughing makes me want to rip my hair out and scream. It’s gotten to a point where I avoid coming home because of it. I don’t ever invite guests of mine into my home, not only because it’s annoying, but to be frank it’s embarrassing. I am genuinely counting down the days until I can move out because of how peaceful it will be. It genuinely makes my blood boil. I wish it would just stop. I feel ridiculous for feeling this way. I wish I could just chill the f out and not care about outside noise, but i physically can’t. Any advice would be helpful. And lastly….AITAH?