Me (19), and my gf (19) are together for over a year now. She knows I’m very much against her smoking and especially cigarettes and we talked about how much it bothers me many times. A month before her birthday she was out with her friends and she asked me if she can smoke, I replied do what you want because I thought that it would be just a vape because she never discussed with me that she wants to smoke cigarettes and she never said that it was cigarettes, and she smoked vapes a number of times before. After she smoked she texted me that it was a cigarette and I told her that she tricked me and that she knew that if she would’ve said that it was a cigarette I would have never said yes or anything close to it. She said it was a one time thing and that it was gross. A month later at the night before her birthday she was with friends and asked again if she can smoke for her birthday, as we agreed that I smoked on my birthday and she would smoke on hers , I was on my way to her to celebrate with her at 00:00, and I said do what you want. She again told me only after that it was a cigarette and I was really mad, I told her that she knows how much it hurts me and that’s the only thing I asked her not to do, and that she tricked me again. Because of that fight I missed her 00:00 because I went back home. Almost a week after her birthday, she told me at the same day of the party that she throws one and that I would not drink much and look after her. She didn’t put me in the group chat ,she didn’t discussed with me and shared with me the party plans ( I think it’s normal to talk about it with your bf) and only told me about it at the day of the party. I told her that I would buy her booze and she didn’t even say thank you and after me and my friend went around the city looking for booze she told me to bring cake also and didn’t say thank you or please. At the evening she texted me that I am not drinking. I did not read the part of the message before that she said I would not drink and I only read the part that she said that I would protect her so I said I am drinking you are not my mother to tell me what do you and it’s not fair of you to ask me to be sober when everyone else are drinking. When me and my friend were with the booze on our way to the party, she texted me if she can smoke cigarettes. I told her “baby you know how much I am against it and and we already talked about it”. She texted like she completely forgot all our talks and I felt really betrayed because that last month she really contempted me and acted really rude. At the party the first thing she said to me was about the cigarettes, we had a total of 5 talks about it that night in which she begged me to smoke and manipulated me even though it was my only ask from her in our entire relationship. She also said I ruined her party and that I was annoying and stormed when I started talking because she heard a song she liked. See how much she was rude to me? After that I had enough and I drank a lot and because of that I vomited in the bathroom at the end of the night, and she cleaned it while she was crying. Her sister drove me home and that was that. The day after she texted me to ask if I was okay and if we can meet to talk. We argued over text and didn’t talk for a day and a half, and after that we met for six hours or so and she just cried and called me selfish and made me repeat myself so many times that I really thought that she had dementia and forgot what I said. We took for two days after that and she texted me that she wants the break to be over and that she wants me to sleep at hers place. I went over her at 12 pm after working from 8 am and working out for 2 hours that day. She said over text that everything is fine and okay between us. When I came over she started yelling at me and she forgot everything we talked about and told me that I was selfish and that I only thought about myself and that it was hers birthday and that I agreed that she would smoke ( I only agreed because she would not leave me alone ). She also said that we agreed that she would smoke at her birthday and I told her she already did that at 00:00 on her birthday and she said it didn’t count and that she did not mean a one time thing. Things got ugly and she screamed at me that I’m gross and how can I do this to her and to get out her house in the middle of the night and I told her I that I think we need to make the break permanent. I asked her what did she think and she slammed the door in my face before I finished my sentence. When I was on my way to my home so called many time to tell me that we don’t need to break up and I told her that I don’t have anything to talk about with her and to not call me.

Am I the asshole?