Me (19F) and my sister (16F) were hanging out in her room and we were on call to our family friend but she did something big (betrayal!!) so we started arguing with her and this was like one of the only arguments we have had in 10 years so it was pretty serious. My dad previously said he’s cooking today (chicken and potatoes) since my mother is out shopping with her friends (he cooks like once a year and most of the time it’s a frozen pizza, his friends have cooked more for us)

Anyway he comes into the room mid argument and he’s like you guys need to help me out and peel 2kg of potatoes for me while I shower but we are mid argument so we say no, before we can explain he starts shouting like crazy. “Oh you’re so useless, you’re going to do nothing with your lives, I better see you downstairs peeling potatoes or I’ll ___ etc” he slams the door open into the wall and is about to storm out when my sister scoffs a little in disbelief. This is the first meal he has had to make in the whole 19 years I’ve been alive that wasn’t frozen and he wants us to do all the work, my mother had already marinated and cut up the chicken. When he heard my sister he lost his shit (we are still on the phone btw he knows this, we told him to say hi to her before he asked us to peel the potatoes.)

He stomped over to my sister grabbed her by the neck and pushed her down onto the bed as he strangled her a little, I was behind my sister and lowkey hid behind her (embarrassing I know, he normally goes after me and leaves her alone but I’m smaller than her now so I guess he switched). He then stormed out of the room after telling us we weren’t allowed to eat and slammed the door shut so obviously we take pictures of the red hand marks around her neck and send it to our mother. She says “What do you want me to about this, people are listening, leave me out of this and sort it out with him- you’re overreacting etc.”

He got out of the shower and started peeling potatoes but it had been like 6 hours since I last ate and I was hungry and my sister felt a bit guilty for not peeling the potatoes so we went downstairs with an offer to cut them for him but he told us to flip off and that he’s nearly done and we probably would messed the potatoes up anyway because we aren’t good at anything and the least we could do is unload the dishwasher so we did but I got annoyed so while I was doing it I said “You said you were going to cook today so why are you annoyed that you actually have to do something?” and he got SO MAD. He flipped out and screamed at me to get out of the room or he will punch me so hard I won’t be able to walk for hours so I just left (without food) and we had to wait until my mother got home with her friends at 9pm to eat.

My dad later went upstairs incredibly angry because my sister sent the picture of the hand marks around her neck to our mother who called our dad to question him about it. As soon as I heard his footsteps up the stairs I started voice recording. He stormed into the room and was like “Did you seriously send this to your mother I didn’t even do anything to you I just grabbed you by the neck and threw you on the bed, nothing even happened” we argued back and forth then he said “Even if I did, can you not handle anything by yourself, aww does the baby need to call her mummy for everything (mockingly obviously) what the hell can your mother do? Nothing.” (got the whole thing recorded lol) then he just walked out.

Me and my sister got food eventually but he was hovering around us and telling us to put the food back and we don’t deserve to eat and just making comments like “who the hell allowed you to eat” (first time i’ve ever been denied food and the first time he’s ever had to cook 🤣) but I ate anyway and I was zoned out and just eating with everyone else on the table and out of nowhere I feel someone hit me at the back of my head and it wasn’t gentle, so I turn around in a rage because I just felt panic (fight or flight??) and slapped the source of whoever hit me and it was my dad. While we were eating we explained everything that happened to my mum and her best friends and they sided with my dad saying things like “You should’ve just peeled the potatoes, you should’ve worded it better, you shouldn’t have annoyed him then you wouldn’t get strangled, you should have been nicer to him, you know how he is, nothing really happened you guys are just being dramatic etc.” then after he hit me same thing happened “i didn’t see anything (my mother NEVER sees anything) what happened?! etc” but after I slapped my dad all hell broke loose!

“How the hell could you hit your father do you not have any respect you are an ungrateful little girl etc etc, coming from my mother and her friends and then!!!! one of them was like “He just tapped you on the head you dramatic girl and then you do this to him, have you got no respect?! Children do not put their hands on their parents” (she previously said she didn’t see him hit me, funny)

Let’s not even act like my slap hurt him (it was a slap on the arm not the face but it made a very loud sound) other than hurting his ego, he’s just embarrassed I slapped him in front of other people but he won’t hurt me back since other ppl were there.

I thought I was in the right but everyone in my life is telling me i’m in the wrong so I don’t know. AITAH?

TLDR: My dad strangled my sister and refused to let us eat because we didn’t want to peel potatoes so we waited until our mother got home to eat where he hit me at the back of my head while I was eating so I slapped him by reflex. Everyone shouted at me.