This happened four years ago, but it still crosses my mind. I was 19 and had been dating my boyfriend (21M) for about a year. We planned a zoo date, but his younger brother (18M) asked to join. My boyfriend checked with me first, and I agreed, hoping to make a good impression. I ended up paying for all three tickets—around $150—even though I was barely making above minimum wage. My boyfriend paid for gas and lunch, and I didn’t mind covering his ticket, but I paid for his brother’s out of kindness.

The day of, I wanted to leave early to beat the heat, but we were already late because his brother took forever to get ready. When we got to the car, his brother jumped into the front seat without asking. My boyfriend mouthed “sorry,” but didn’t say anything, so I sat in the back on what was supposed to be our date. The whole ride, his brother blasted rap, talked over me, and dominated the conversation. When my boyfriend asked why I was quiet, I just said I had a headache. I already felt like a third wheel.

At the zoo, I said I wanted to walk the whole thing to get our money’s worth. My boyfriend agreed. I tried to be inclusive, but within 15 minutes, his brother was complaining his feet hurt and he was hungry—even though we ate before we left and it was only 10AM. I gave him water and suggested a quick break, but he insisted on Dippin’ Dots. My boyfriend bought them, and I let it go. But 30 minutes later, his brother was still complaining and kept pulling my boyfriend away, interrupting me, and making rude comments. I started walking ahead because I felt ignored. Eventually, he said he was done walking. We hadn’t even seen much yet. I suggested he wait in the car, but he refused. My boyfriend said, “Let’s just head back,” and I had no choice since he was my ride.

I started crying as we walked back to the car. I was heartbroken that our date was ruined, and I’d spent all that money for nothing. Outside the car, my boyfriend hugged me, apologized, said he’d make it up to me, and told me to pick wherever I wanted for lunch. I said Olive Garden because nothing comforts me more when I’m sad than carbs. But when we got in the car and told his brother, he immediately said, “I don’t like that,” and told us to pick somewhere else. My boyfriend tried to hold the boundary and said, “It’s her pick,” but his brother kept pushing. I tried being flexible and listed a bunch of other options, and finally got a half-hearted “I guess” when I said Red Robin.

We drove there—his brother still blasting music and talking over me. When we arrived, the place was closed due to a power outage. Totally out of our control, but it added to the frustration. I suggested other places again, and every single one got shot down. I finally snapped and said, “Fine! Since you don’t like anything I’m suggesting, how about you pick? Also, you owe me $50 for your zoo ticket. I paid for you out of kindness and let you tag along on our date, and you’ve been nothing but rude. I’m done.”

The car went dead silent. My boyfriend pulled into a gas station and pulled me aside. He asked why I yelled, saying, “Now he’s going to tell my mom and she’s going to make my life hell.” I told him this was supposed to be our day and that I’d felt like a third wheel the entire time. I said, “If he doesn’t want anything we like, let’s drop him off and go eat without him.” My boyfriend refused, saying his mom would be upset if his brother didn’t eat. I rolled my eyes, still crying, and got back in the car. My boyfriend asked again where his brother wanted to go, and out of every place, he picked Panera Bread. I wanted to scream—not just because I hate Panera, but because he turned down every other option only to pick that. I stayed quiet, and we went just to stop the arguing. He still talked over me the entire time at Panera.

When we got back to my boyfriend’s house, I pulled him aside and told him the entire day was ruined because of his brother. I said if no one else was going to speak up to him, then I would. I’m still with my boyfriend today, but I still honestly don’t care much for his brother. He’s still babied and extremely hard to be around.

I’ve told this story to others and the reactions are split. Some say I was too harsh. Others say I had every right to be upset. So, Reddit… AITAH?