My best friend and I are both 18 and seniors in high school. We’re going to graduate in May. I turned 18 back in November, but she literally just turned 18 less than a month ago.

Her boyfriend is 19 and a freshman in college. They’ve been together for 2 years. They met at school when he was still in high school. They went to the same school. I go to a different school. He’s fine, like I have no issues with him and I think he’s a good guy for my friend. I just can’t say I know him super well. Since I don’t go to the same school, I didn’t get to know him that way and she thankfully doesn’t make me always hang out with her when he’s around. Again, not because I have issues with him, but because it’s weird to hang out with her when he’s there because they’re super into of PDA and touching and it’s just sort of sickening and uncomfortable to be the 3rd wheel. Most of the time she and I hang out and do things without him around.

I know they have sex. She lost her virginity to him. I know she’s genuinely so in love with him and for all I can tell he feels the same way toward her. I think he treats her good and they’re cute even if it’s a little too sickeningly sweet for me.

She told me in February that they’re planning to get married after graduation. And not like some time after graduation and after college and when we’re actual adults. She meant like right after, this summer, a specific date they picked out. They were going to go to the court house to do it secretly without telling anyone until after it was done.

I know they’re crazy about each other and like obsessed with each other but this just seemed like a really bad idea to me. He actually does have a part time job but not a job that could support himself let alone a spouse. She’s never had a job. She’s going to college in the fall too, of course to the same school he’s at. That was disappointing to me because she and I had always talked about going to school in NYC together. It had been our dream, but she decided to go to the same school he’s at. I found out from her mom. She didn’t even tell me she had applied there.

I’m not trying to break them up. I just think she’d be making a huge mistake getting married right now. I think it’s crazy. You walk in her bedroom at home and it still looks like a 10 year old girl lives in there. She’s not ready for marriage. I mean I’m not either. I can’t imagine getting married now. She told me she wanted to have a baby maybe toward the end of college. She thinks it’d be cute to walk across the stage with a big belly. I just don’t think she’s thinking straight.

I know you’re probably thinking they were just talking and dreaming about getting married, but not actually going to do it. She bought a dress, which she wanted to keep hidden at my house.

I told my mom about it. My mom immediately called my friend’s mom and told her everything. So then my mom made me get on the phone and tell my best friend’s mom the whole story and I told her everything. I guess I was kind of relieved. I had wanted to tell her mom but just didn’t know how.

Her mom said her daughter would get married over her dead body. She was really upset. Later I found out she freaked out on my friend, called her an idiot who is thinking with between her legs. I mean, I know her mom and she’s actually usually a good mom. She’s a great lady, but she also is pretty honest and straightforward. I can picture her telling my friend exactly what she thinks of the marriage plan and not handling it in a sensitive way. The thing is, my best friend is very sensitive so her mom’s approach sometimes hurts my friend. Her mom told her she can’t see her boyfriend anymore. She told my friend she’s going to end up a pregnant loser with no education, and she’s convinced the boyfriend has essentially brainwashed her into wanting this, that he has too much influence over her.

So my best friend hates me now. She’s not talking to me. She said I ruined her life, and that’s I’m just jealous because I’ve never even had a boyfriend. It’s true that I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never had sex. Guys have asked me out, just none that I’m interested in. I’m not really ready to have sex, idk I just don’t really see that as a priority right now. Her boyfriend changed our relationship. I’m not gonna lie. She just talks about him all the time, is always texting him, and I sometimes feel like I have to compete for time with her. Sometimes I feel like it’d be nice to know what that feels like, and he’s attractive and cool and she’s lucky she found somebody who she was interested in who also liked her back. The guys I’m attracted to aren’t interested in me. Anyway, I’m not seething with jealousy over it. I did not spoil her plans to hurt her or because I wish it was me getting married at 18.

I feel I'm the asshole because I failed her as a best friend in a way. Like, I should have supported her even if I didn’t agree. She’s legally an adult and can make her own decisions. I could have kept my opinions to myself and just shown up for her. Now she's not even allowed to see her boyfriend and her mom is being mean to her. I feel like I basically flushed all her happiness down the toilet, and now I don't have my best friend anymore either.