I’m a 19m turning 20 come April 18th

Ive lived with my mother almost my whole life, except when I was young and she was broke and I’d stay at my Grandma’s. I’d take a bullet for her and couldn’t stand something happening to her.

This is why I’m stuck in a constant battle with myself. 6-7 years ago she got a boyfriend who had some money and we moved in. This was imo the biggest mistake of our lives. My sister, me, and the rest of our family have been struggling with my two parents for ages as they have both now become alcoholics.

I’ve been kicked out of my house more times than I can count. Every weekend I get so stressed I get nauseous because I know they’ll go out drinking and drunk drive home, all while I have to guess if I’ll have a roof over my head tomorrow.

When won’t it be them knocking but a sheriff telling me they died, or worse, took a young family with them..?

We’ve tried everything- me and the rest of my family. They cannot stay away from alcohol. I’ve banned it from the house they go out drinking. I ban it from outside and they drink inside. I tell them they can drink a little they get so drunk I have to drag them up the stairs. Years of my life since I was a child I’ve wanted babysitting drunk parents. Worse yet, they have now also taken up gambling after winning a 10k jackpot at the casino. They took the bait- hook, line and sinker.

Their excuse- “We are adults and we can do what we want!” absolutely fucking pathetic. That saying will haunt my dreams.

I’m about at my breaking point. I’ve worked my ass off through Highschool, getting fully certified as Firefighter/EMT/Hazmat. I know no matter where I go I’ll have a job as everywhere needs firemen.

I don’t know if I should leave it all behind. Get some bags in my car and drive off never to see any one of my family again. I’ll have no one. It scares me but it feels like one of the only options I have out of this.

Even those I love I know I wouldn’t be able to keep in contact with because my Mom will use them as leverage. My grandma, sister, grandpa, five cousins- I love them all to death and they’ve kept me going this whole time.

So, the question is. AITAH if I drop this all and run- even all the people who have helped me because I know they will draw me back if I don’t cut them off too?

Or do I stick around and try to figure this out as I get older? Endure a few more years of babysitting drunken parents while I try convincing them to stop?

And yes, I’ve said in the past it’s the alcohol or it’s me, and they seem pretty dead set on picking the alcohol over me.

I need help.