Ok......I really really need an opinion. AITAH?

Tbh this is my first post and I might mess up.....idk but this is something I really wanna get off of my chest and need opinions about this. Also I'll use fake names just to be more clear and also safe.

It's a trip down the memory lane but I will keep it as short as I can and try to stick to explaining the problem.

So I (19F) and my bestfriend, Aditi (19F) are having a conflict......More like I'm the one having it. We've been bestfriends since class 5th when I moved to our school but our relationship hasn't always been all flowers (it can be a story for other times about what caused problems in our friendship) like it has been on and off.

A lil context about me : I've had a really hard time making true friends since my dad had a transferrable job (we're settled now tho). I've been travelling the whole country every 3 to 5 years, so changing schools, leaving behind close friends have been normal for me but it used to be hard leaving behind everything......I've major trust issues even now and don't really make much close friends.

There has been serious problems between us since class 6th like the problems we're there in 6th and 7th but again we were Hella close in class 8th and then lockdown fell when we were in class 9th but that got us more closer and even after having same stream in class 11th, I had a different section from her so we got distant in class 11th then a bit closer in 12th again but this is our drop year, and we've not been talking much.....like maybe once in 3 or 4 months to be exact.

Now 3 or 4 months back, I had been trying to reset my life and start afresh (mainly because something happened with some of my friendships including hers which made me get to this decision). but I didn't really tell anyone other than my bf that I'm gonna start fresh with my friendships and keep them normal and casual rather than too close. My life was getting affected by so many things so for my own peace, I left our friendship then and there silently and thought only to maintain a casual friendship. Although it was hard but I needed to do that.

So the month I take this initiative, she msgs me that month she texted me about an old picture she found, asking about me and i talk to her normally. Neither excited nor super exaggerating stuff but just a normal conversation. That's when she semsed something was wrong and started to confront about why I was behaving so distant and asked if I felt like she was bothering me (I did apologise to her for she had felt that way)

Idk why but it triggered something in me......but after her much asking, I gave in and told what all that had been bothering me since 2 years which I never said anything about back then (I don't really know why I didn't say anything sooner.....I do regret that now for a fact).

I start calmly and politely confronting her for each and everything. She gets agitated and thinks that I misunderstood and tries to call me but I strictly kept it through text because I wouldn't be able to talk normally on call.

So Aditi first asked me what was wrong and I said

Me : Well I thought something happened......that's why I asked that......I didn't wanna offend you if that's what you felt.....I'm sorry......it's just I've never really known what's on with your life and the last fact I knew was that things with your bf weren't good so thought something happened

Her : And if you don't know what's up with my life and that bothers you, you should ask

(P.S. : I was flabbergasted here......I mean....this was my bestfriend. And I've asked a million times everytime we met about what was going on with her life but she would give a general answer and not say much and it's about the way she thinks not knowing about her life would BOTHER me.)

Me : But......it has been like that since a long time now. When we got separated in Class 11th......our contact had lessened......and also you had your own friend group......I had my own........still whenever something used to happen in my life.....you were the first one to know......because I used to come to you right? Now if you don't tell me in the same way......how would I know what's up with you.....

So the convo was going like this and I'll make it short and go by pointers now

1. I confronted her about how we grew distant in class 11th when our sections changed and I was worried about her but she had made a group of friends and I was relieved she had friends to care for her but she said that she had a hard time making friends (she was in section A where she knew most of the people since kindergarten while I was in section B with totally unknown people because there was no one from my previous section like literally no one)

2. Since Aditi was in section A and had her own friends group which consisted of all girls and I was in section B with my friend group having 4 guys and 2 girls including me. Now one thing is we stay loyal to our friendships so we don't trade or gossip around our friend's personal secrets. She was growing closer with them and I was happy for her because obv she can't be tied to me or smth like that but including secrets, she even stopped telling me about her own problems.

3. When I asked why she stopped telling her problems, she said she 'THOUGHT' that I didn't wanna hear stuff about her even though I used to ask a million times about what was up and never did I ever indicate in any kind of way that I wouldn't like to hear about her.

4. The reason our sections were diff was because I had not taken up a subject that she had and we had a chance to actually change our streams for a period of 1 or 2 months when we start class 11th but I didn't change cuz my family didn't want me to waste my time on that subject and I had thought the same so I wasn't gonna change my decision just to be transferred to the same section as Aditi but she THOUGHT that the reason I wasn't taking up that subject was "because I had gotten better friends in my section whom I vibed with better than her". Please mind that it wasn’t even 2 months that I was in that new section and had just made new friends.

5. Whenever something big happened in my life, like proposing to my now boyfriend back in class 11, she was the first to know it all even if we didn't talk everyday But she was still the first. Now cut to the time of our drop year, she started dating someone and didn't even bother to tell me anything. I found out about her bf when she was stressed about something during an outing and I had some suspicions and asked her heads on. When I confronted her about why she hadn't told me about her bf while everyone else knew, she said I was the 1st one to know among all the friends but I knew she was lying because earlier in the day of our outing, our friends were straight away teasing her about her bf and when I had asked her before she told me it was nothing. So I knew I definitely wasn't the first one to know.

6. She said she was alone and no one to talk to and that she cried while missing me in her class (while I was literally in a class just a floor below).....she says that she told her friends not to tell me about this because this was between me and Aditi and that she THOUGHT that I had a picture perfect frame of friends which she didn't wanna ruin by going to me.

7. I remember being busy with our terminal exams because I wanted to score good so I used to study a lot and I stopped meeting her during my 1 or 2 free periods and was mostly in my class studying because it was convenient and she told me that she didn't come to me because

Aditi : "Because I felt like you were so busy with your new friends that you don't have time for me"

Apparently I used to care about her until Aditi : " until you met the love of your life, and your new friends"

1. Even she used to say that she was uncomfortable in my class because I was close to my friend group but she wasn’t and respecting that I still used to go to her class to meet and spend time with her while she was also close to heer group and even when I didn't wanna be close still I used to feel a bit uncomfortable, but since she was all that mattered to me, I used to go to her thinking of her own comfortability.

She told her friends crying that

Aditi : We come to school only for 3 days and "8 hrs we're here and all I'm asking for is 20 mins of break, which she'd still rather spend with them than with me".

(P.S. : She never said, asked or even demanded anything. Never. Nothing at all)

1. I told her that she was never a bother for me and that she could've said something all the time I was asking her if something was wrong and she told me Aditi : Ig you're the better person because I hated how you made more friends and forgot me.

(P.S. She was a popular girl and I never forgot her)

1. At this point, the convo wasn't going anywhere so I'll just summarise the chat

Aditi : Ik I can't exactly blame you bcoz I never tried to correct things either

Aditi : I always believed what we have is not fragile enough that going a few months non contact would make it awkward between us

Me : Because we always used to tell each other what used to happen in our lives......When I was always eager to tell you about mine, be true to you and open up, why weren't you?

Aditi : I did used to tell you "it's nothing like that, things happened, I'll tell you later"

Me : Yeah and......when was the later? I used to think they might be serious and if I pressurize you into telling me then it might become a problem. Thus I waited patiently and thought "Let's give her time.....she will surely tell me"

Aditi : You tell me, when was the later?

Me : You had stuff......you were going to tell me.....if I pressurize you again and again on telling me.....won't that be annoying!?!?!?!? I used to spend the same time with you as much as I used to spend with my bf

Aditi : Over breaks you two were in the same damn class, always by each other's side whether you spoke or not. I wasn't. I wanted to be with you all time and the time we used to spend that we had was break, which you later started wanting to spend with him

Me : But Even yk that I never used to do that unless we had exams, or we had serious stuff going on.

Aditi : Yeah but you chose to be with him and your new friends rather than me. I used to see you laugh so nicely with him and I thought I would just intrude your happy time and bother you.

Me : How would I have known that you felt like if you don't tell me anything even when I asked and just assume that you would bother me!?!?!?!?

This was the last of how the chats went and then she knew she was in the fault so I just made her shut up and went on a rage about whatever she did wrong and about how I had felt. She accepted that and she was sorry but I did tell her that it will take me a while to go back to how we were since this was a lot to take in.

There were lots of things that had happened between us in the classes before which had made our relationship rocky and also because of which I had trust issues. I might make a separate post on that.

But now the problem which has happened that me and Aditi have a close mutual guy friend. Now I didn't say anything about this fight to him but Aditi did and idk how much she has told him and i can't even ask him now or explain it over but he has been constantly telling me about how much Aditi loves me and that I shouldn't be upset oer such thing and should make up with her soon. Although ik that he is just making efforts to get us closer but this is getting uncomfortable and constantly reminding me of all the stuff she has done.

I've made it clear to him that I'm not upset but this was a lot to take in considering the fact that I had so much kept within me since 2 years and also considering how dumb she was to just "assume" everything which were never true at all.

So tell me reddit people, AITAH on behaving this way and taking some time before I try to make it normal between me and Aditi again?