FIRST OFF, i wanna say that this is my first time posting on or using reddit so i’m a bit nervous, but i don’t know where else to turn without it getting personal.

So, my boyfriend (16) and i (15) have only been together for a few months and i’ve been noticing for a while that he may have an ED. When i met him at school for the first time he was slightly chubby and seemed pretty depressed, we talked for a few days and then he disappeared. At the time i hadn’t asked for his number and no one else had it, so there was no way for me to contact him.

About a month later, he came back very obviously thinner. He seemed happy, but very tired 24/7 and had dark circles constantly. I didn’t think anything of it, though, and started talking to him like normal and trying to catch up. Eventually we started talking, i got his number and we were otp after school all day every day. He told me that for a while he was into ‘looksmaxxing’ and said that when he was gone he had pretty much locked himself in his room and starved himself. I was immediately very, VERY concerned and asked if he was okay but he brushed it off and wouldn’t talk about it.

As we started dating, he talked less about looksmaxxing and began gaining more weight. As of now, he is absolutely not fat, although considerably chubbier than he was. He thinks he is the fattest, ugliest perosn on earth and i have tried multiple times to offer weight loss tips such as healthier food options, ways to work out at the gym and at home if he’s uncomfortable. He will not take my advice, and continues to complain about himself. I always try my best to listen and be understanding, but whatever looksmaxxing stuff he was into RUINED him. It has made him so insecure about minuscule features of his face and body that are unfixable without surgery.

He told me recently that he was going to start starving again because he wanted to be super skinny (malnourished, as he called it.) and i tried to tell him not to. I explained to him that what he wants to do is a glorified eating disorder, and what the negatives would be (hair loss, eye bags, acne, fatigue, tooth decay, etc) and he told me that he didn’t care. He said he had experienced all of those things before, and that what he was doing wasn’t an eating disorder. In simple words, he is not eating more than once a day and if he does it’s something very low in calories.

He keeps trying to talk to me about it, but then blatantly ignores everything i have to say on the matter. He even called himself fat today at dinner with my family, and my brother and dad both told him that he was wrong.

He brought it up tonight over the phone again, and when i got frustrated because he wasn’t listening to me of anything i had to say (again) HE got mad at me because i didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I could feel myself getting genuinely upset and starting to cry, and told him straight up that his opinion won’t change, and neither would mine so there was nothing to talk about.

He called me an asshole when i once again, told him that what he had described to me was literally an ED, got mad and hung up. He hasn’t answered any of my calls and he gets very emotional very quickly so i’m a bit scared of what he’s gonna do. I don’t know how to help him, and i feel like this is driving a wedge into our relationship. I love him a lot and i don’t want to lose him but i am seriously done atp.