📝 AITAH for telling my husband not to help his daughter get a home?

By Capital_Ad2312 • Score: 13 • April 7, 2025 7:40 AM


TLDR: daughter wants my husband to lie so she can get a house for her 3week baby.

Daughter 25f is husband’s step daughter from his previous marriage. Husband 56m has raised her from age 2 onwards and is his only child. Daughter just had a baby (3 weeks) and is married for the past 6 months to son-in-law 25m. They (daughter and son-in-law) currently live in a small apartment which they hate 22 mins away from us but are looking to move. They put a deposit down on a new build house 4.5 hours north in a city that is “up and coming”. There’s lots of development but not a huge population/ companies/ jobs. The area we live currently is insanely expensive, you need atleast $400k to get into a home. Where they are wanting to move to, homes are $275k, it’s a good deal price wise. The builders called and said the house is ready. The mortgage lender says they are not ready. Daughter makes $70k a year working from home but does not qualify due to non-payment of a timeshare which the credit agencies are treating as a property default/ foreclosure. She had gotten a lawyer and hoped to clear it up before the house was ready but it will take atleast several more months to resolve. Son-in-law makes $45k working in a warehouse and does not make enough to qualify for the mortgage on his own. Bank is concerned he cannot keep his current job given the distance. They think he can easily find a job in the new city but warehouse jobs there are $37k according to the job boards. They need approval from the mortgage lender or they lose their deposit. My husband runs his own business. Their plan is have my husband give son in law a job offer as warehouse manager in the new city making $60k, the amount he needs to make to qualify on his own. Then my husband’s business will pay son-in-law 2 months via W2 which they will reimburse including employee social security. I told my husband not to help because he would be lying. Pretty sure that’s fraud. Husband is of the view that lenders in this country just treat people as numbers without looking at facts. He’s been burned by this as a self employed person. Also, he thinks if they can afford a $2,400 apartment rental surely they can cover the new house payment. He doesn’t want them to lose the deposit. AITAH for telling husband not to help?

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