My(39) wife(38) has hypothyroidism which causes a lot of things, but for her it causes weight gain. We met when we were in 9th grade and she was of average weight. Over the years, she has gained weight and is not happy with her body. She also has a lack of motivation to exercise in order to lose the weight, due to her mental health.

She wants to get liposuction and a tummy tuck, so that she can feel better about herself. I told her that I am willing to look into it, but I want her to work on getting into better shape before we do that so that she can maintain the weight loss after a procedure. I also read that the patient should be within 30lbs of their goal weight and she is currently about 75-100lbs away.

She is now mad at me because she feels like I am not supporting her and that she doesn't think it will be a problem afterwards before she will be motivated to keep it off. I tried to explain my concern that removing the fat is just one step, if she is not in the habit of exercising and eating right, that it is possible to gain all the weight back and she will be right back where she started.

I really want the best for her, AITAH for not support her now and adding conditions or does it make sense to start working on getting into better shape now?

FOLLOW-UP: I wanted to clarify some points that I may have missed.

1. This was not a heated conversation and I tried to be a sensitive as possible when I told her I thought she should wait and get in better shape first.

2. She was not seeking my permission, she wanted my opinion.

3. I did not just read anything on the internet, we read some research from the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic together so that we could be better informed. I also did some other research on pubmed. I do not remember exactly where I read the that you should be within 30lbs, that is why I said somewhere.