Background

I was working part time as a bartender on top of my job in HR investigations where my sole job is to investigate employee misconduct. I was working two jobs after a divorce. Suddenly the restaurant closed and I found myself in an interview with my current boyfriend. At the time he was AGM and we didn’t start dating until he transferred to another store. I then got a promotion to the team I am on now and quit my second job. Then him and I moved together. He is now the GM of the highest grossing store in the district, workings towards area director. As a couple we have done nothing but elevate each other. I have caught him in stupid lies early on cause my intuition is crazy good but we worked through it, things were good.

Fast forward to last weekend. He suddenly needs to change his work schedule as he started training one of the bartenders as manager. They have been working together every morning (for a few hours alone) by Tuesday my intuition caught on to some slight changes in the way he was moving and yesterday even more so.

Last night I woke up and looked in his phone. I found nothing. Put his phone down and couldn’t sleep. I went back and looked in his text trash folder. And there it was. A picture of her breast sent earlier that day while they were both at work but he was on the phone with me. All of his staff know me.

She dates another bartender that works there and is supposed to be a lesbian. I woke him up asked him who it was cause he didn’t have the number saved but I knew it was an employee. He told me and admitted that only this week have they ever been inappropriate and somehow they started talking about nipples. She told him her nipples were big and he said he wanted to see. I threw his phone at him. And then proceeded to wrap my son’s gifts as his birthday is today. I’m trying my best to be present for my son’s birthday.

I did call her this morning, she didn’t answer but I left a voicemail cause she does know who I am. I told her while I decide what to do with my relationship that her and him are a piece of shit for doing that to me and her girlfriend and if anything else happens I will tell her.

I feel like she deserves to know and told both of them. They all work together, he is the GM she is now a key manager in training on a separate shift then her long term girlfriend and she is the only one in the dark. They both are asking me not to say anything to the girlfriend cause it will do a lot of damage. I mean I work cases like this all the time. They would both be fired for this depending on what the girlfriend’s reaction would be cause I can’t control what she decides to do with the information and she has been at the restaurant 12 years. They claim that is all that happened but I mean who really knows and to me that is still cheating.

I feel morally obligated to tell the girlfriend cause I would want to know. I haven’t done it yet but as I mentioned I don’t know what her reaction would be and if it would get to his boss. So I risk all of them or at least my boyfriend (or ex boyfriend) losing his job if I tell her, he financially supports his children a lot, this is why I’m conflicted.

AITAH for telling her?