I (28M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (26F) for a while now, and things have been… fine, on the surface. She’s great – loyal, supportive, kind – but I’ve been struggling with something deeper.

Lately, I’ve felt like our relationship has shifted into more of a friendship than a romantic partnership. There’s been a noticeable lack of intimacy on my end – not just physical, but emotional and mental too. I’m not sure if I’ve grown apart or if the spark just quietly died, but I feel like I’m going through the motions.

To complicate things more, there’s someone else. It’s an on-and-off connection that’s been in my life for over 8 years. We’ve never fully worked out, but there’s always been something real between us. I’m not trying to romanticize the past or jump ship into another situation, but it’s making me question what I actually want and feel.

I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I know my girlfriend deserves someone fully present and emotionally available. I just don’t know if I’m being unfair, or if I’m ignoring something I should be honest about.

If you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you navigate it? How do you know when it’s time to leave a relationship that’s “good on paper” but you don’t know how to feel about it anymore or am I just in my head too much.

Appreciate any honest advice