I(37F) met this guy X(33M) on a dating site(we were an interracial couple) & instantly fell for him when we met in person. I had clearly asked him if the age gap was an issue & if my ethnicity mattered but he boldly said 'no'. I even set the expectations straight that I was looking to settle down. We had texted & chatted for quite some time earlier and when we met, the date lasted for 9 hrs! I wasn't looking for a rich guy but someone who would just respect me, love me & be loyal to me. I made double of what he made and my family is well-off. He was surrounded by women(3 older sisters & he lived with his mom) and I was somehow convinced that he was very respectful towards women.

Fast forward few more dates & I got to know that he's been with 15 women in the past & on an average a relationship lasted for about a year. I was hopeful that I could change that. As we grew intimate & started sleeping together, I first noticed he never asked for my consent and he was just a sex freak! He wanted it multiple times a day & being heavy, he would literally crush me under his weight. His hickies felt like vampire bites and even when I complained about these issues, he would simply ignore it. It was as if as long as he was satisfied, nothing else mattered. He used a condom only once & expected me to be on birth control. We would even play fight at times and one day he pushed me off the bed with a kangaroo kick on my chest. I was angry but never heard a 'sorry' from him. For a couple of days, we fought over trivial things & one fine day he just left without saying a word. But after a lot of drama, we again patched up.

At this point, I had introduced myself to his mom, a sister and some of his friends and they knew I was his gf. All of them were very welcoming & sweet towards me. I would visit him at his house for few days at a time and that's when I got to know a bit more about his equation with his mom & sisters. None of his sisters were on talking terms with him & it seemed like his mom just tolerated him. Only he & his mom lived in the house but he never bothered to tell her about his whereabouts. Both would constantly erupt into arguments and his mom always preferred to spend time with his sisters & her grandchildren than being in the house with him. He would even be jealous if I & his mom spoke for a long time. They all just wanted him to move out but he had other plans.

They didn't usually cook and as a guest, I noticed that he would not ask me what I wanted for breakfast/lunch/dinner. The way his eating habits were, he would eat only when he was hungry but I didn't have such a crazy routine. I used to be hungry & on many occasions, I ended up bringing my own food from home or ordering from nearby restaurants. In fact, on those occasions, I even had the decency to ask him if he or his mom wanted anything. I usually drink bottled water & even after he knew that, there was one time when they ran out of those and he preferred to go play poker over getting me water. I had to then go buy the water too. On the other hand, whenever he was scheduled to come to my place, I always asked what he wanted & ensured that he was taken good care of.

Once when he was at my place, he started feeling light-headed(I blame his eating habits!) & I drove him to an urgent care. His insurance didn't cover that location, so we declined service but just after that he felt worse and I rushed him to the emergency in a hospital nearby. I waited alongside him for hrs and after that episode I also drove his car back to his place so that he can avail medical services at his known places. The whole experience was bad for me because the whole time he was grumpy and complained that I wasn't showing enough compassion.

As days went by, I got to know him a bit more of his character. He would assert dominance over women in private but when in public/at work/with friends, he simply put up this facade where he would be very pleasing & agreeable with everyone. He always maintained that he wanted a woman who would be "flexible" i.e always 'conform' to his needs but never the other way round. His plans would frequently change & he expected me to just go with it. When talking to me, he would sometimes say the most ghastly things and then simply follow it with a 'just kidding' after noticing my reaction. I even got to know about his porn addiction.

Once we went on a group hike on his request and there were 2 trails. Even after knowing that I had never hiked before(he's an experienced hiker btw), he subjected me to the tougher one because he didn't want to look weak in front of the group. Mind it we discussed it before that we would opt for the easy one. When I couldn't finish the hike & had to turn back(I was sweating & literally panting for breath) because of the elevation, he turned on me saying that I created unnecessary drama.

Then there were numerous occasions when he simply behaved like a jerk & I had to leave his house unexpectedly. It wasn't that I lived near to him, it's a good 2 hrs drive for me. A few honorable mentions - he simply refused to turn off the light one night when I just wanted to sleep, or on a Sunday he just was too lazy to leave the bed even at 1 pm and when I urged him to do so as we had activities planned for the day, he felt I was too rude to him & he handed me a written note to leave the house immediately.

He also ruined some of the events for which I was very excited. Once we were headed to a balloon festival & he fed in the location address incorrectly. When I pointed it out, all hell broke loose and we ended up fighting & not going to the event. On new year's eve, we agreed on a certain plan(with just the 2 of us) & I was dressed accordingly but we ended up doing what his friends wanted and it turned into a boring evening. He feigned illness during Valentine's day & asked me not to meet him.

The list goes on & on but I reached the tipping point when I realized he was not only one of the worst human beings but was also a good liar & cheater! To give some context, his mom once blurted out that her son had the habit of dating multiple girls at once. Then I figured out that the last ex that he mentioned was not exactly the last one he dated. There was another woman whom he dated in between but she resided outside of US. He always boasted how he went on his first international trip to Egypt & middle-east on his own but I later got to know that he was actually with that girl the whole time. They even slept together!

So, one fine day while he was still my so-called bf, he mentioned that he was going on an international trip to 2 southeast nations on vacation. I thought he was joking but he mentioned that he had it all planned & was leaving in 2 weeks. Before he revealed this, he was suddenly very health conscious and started his weight loss journey. He even cleared up his phone. Knowing him well, I knew he couldn't do a solo trip. As a matter of fact, one of his childhood friends has been very vocal about his upcoming plans to visit one of those countries. So, I asked him if he was going with that friend but he calmly mentioned that his friend was quite a nuisance as a travel partner, so he will be going with this girl instead. I was completely shattered & broke up with him then & there. I felt disgusted thinking that he just used me for my body and maybe he never ever broke up with his international girlfriend.

Now, I had added him as my +1 for a friend's wedding long time back. When I broke up with him, I had clearly mentioned that he lost that privilege but he still insisted that he wanted to come because it was a destination wedding & he had never explored that city. I agreed on the condition that he would have to book his own room & take care of his expenses. Fast forward to a week before the wedding, he informed me that a relative has passed away & that he might have to attend the funeral on those dates. I obviously understood the situation & asked him to keep me posted. Two days later he confirmed he would make it & gave me a list of activities he was targeting during the trip. Everything was fine until just the day before the wedding when he changed his mind again & backed out(not because of the funeral but he suddenly felt I would be better off without him by my side). What an early realization! I had to inform my friend about this last minute change & offered to cover his plate costs. I didn't get enough time to search for his replacement & was left without a date on the wedding day. His actions this time left me furious and I cursed him hard. I then vowed to never maintain any contact with him again.

Sorry for my long post but I think I gave this guy too many chances as I genuinely loved him but he just didn't deserve my affection.