I (23F) have recently started seeing this guy (26M). he’s super pretty, but he’s kind of emotionally unavailable and he’s alluded to an unstable/ unhealthy childhood.

for context, i also work w socializing abused and neglected dogs at a local shelter and i think how much time i spend w the dogs is impacting the way i interact w ppl.

when we were on a date i started subconsciously making mental notes abt him like the notes id make abt a dog. for example, i noticed when we went out to dinner i noticed he ate really quickly and was very anti-sharing (resource guarding) but when i offered to pay and suggested dessert it seemed to make him really happy and a little calmer (food-motivated); he’s really particular about his car (territorial/ crate aggression); he likes when i pick where we go/ what we do (eager to please), etc. so, ive started using the tactics id use on a dog w similar problems.

recently a friend (22F) pointed out that it’s weird that i keep peanut M&Ms on me w the specific purpose of offering the guy one when i see him, and offering them again whenever i can tell he feels vulnerable. she said that im being an asshole bc he’s a person, not a dog so i shouldn’t be “training him like one.”

i don’t think that’s fair, im not trying to control him or anything, i just want him to feel comfortable w me the same way i need the animals im helping to be comfortable w me. humans and animals aren’t THAT diff after all, we all just want to feel safe and cared for. the guy hasn’t noticed yet as far as i can tell. the problem is, my “technique” is yielding really positive results.

AITAH? should i stop?