In my house and friend group everyone makes birthday gift lists throughout the year to make birthday gift buying easier. I have a small list of things I want for my birthday but they are things that I would love to have. Anywhere from $6 to $150. Candles, art, and things for my beloved kitten.

My birthday is coming up and I have shared this list, as we traditionally do. My friend decided to deviate from the birthday gift list and go for a grand gesture. He bought me a Bordeaux photography session.

I stopped everything I was doing in shock. I would be mortified at the thought of taking “sexy” photos of myself.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the gesture however I am going through a massive weight loss journey and my body…is not something I’m proud of still. I am not at my goal weight, I have tons of loose skin, and I frankly have always HATED photos of myself.

This idea seems to be along the lines of his pattern of doing something very sweet and yet grand gesture-ish. I understand the sentiment and he explained that I’ve lost so much weight he wants me to feel proud of myself. He wanted me to look at those photos and feel love for my body.

I explained that I hate photos of myself and that I have actually tried to do something similar in the past when I was younger. Out of the hundreds of photos taken I only liked one. I ended up frustrating the photographer and in turn, felt bad about myself. I understand that this is something I need to get over but I do not think I would enjoy this at all. I may end up crying out of how wildly uncomfortable I would be.

Some of my other friends are pushing for me to do this and stated that I could keep photos private. I suggested instead that I would like photos done of my kitten instead, as a compromise. To capture his fleeting youth which I so desperately love.

That idea was shot down and now my friend is upset with me. I don’t know what to do or if I’m the asshole is in this situation.