There’s this woman who’s been harassing me for about 9ish months. It was unpleasant but I could see her behaviour was problematic because she was hurting so I just cut contact. I ended up moving house and living out of AirBnBs to avoid her because she creeped me out so much. She then began emailing me demanding money (she’d done the same thing in the past and it seemed to be a control-response thing). I reported her to my university, so I could just move on. They were really slow in dealing with it, so I ended up having to go to the police. Anyway, following that, she essentially denied it all, accused me of reporting her maliciously (I didn’t), and then encouraged other people to bully me (if she couldn’t anymore, others could).

So this was all a bit intense, but it felt fine. She then began phoning me using no-caller id. I didn’t think the calls were from her originally, because they were too odd. One had like weird breathing and the other she was just holding the line up to other people in her life. She’d phone each evening repeatedly until I picked up.

I then found out they were from her, because I confronted two others involved. This triggered her to phone me again. I then tried to reach out to another third party saying I didn’t really want to go to the police but I kind of felt I had to if this didn’t get sorted. I’m on the spectrum and phone calls really bother me (anything with my phone does). She knows this because I’ve told her (so she’s playing on my vulnerabilities).

Anyway, so I go to the police. They don’t do a good job. Then, she phoned my ex, pretending to be a fedex delivery driver (it was definitely her). She was asking where I was and if he was with me. It seems that after I reported her she changed her phone number, presumably so she had the excuse to tell others that I’ve been shitty to her en masse.

We then linked the calls to her by matching her room bookings schedule, voice and the calls to the NCID calls (she seemed to begin phoning me on nights out or public places).

The police then phoned her, she argued with them, claimed that it wasn’t her and was rude to the officer.

I sort of took this as a signal that something was really rather wrong, because the officer said it was definitely her. So I wrote an email to the other people in her house asking to speak to them because I’d had enough (I have actually had enough). This was 9 months following when her behaviour turned into harassment. She also began sitting really near me in the library. People doubt me when I say this but I am extremely sure it’s her. It was kind of odd because I was in eye line.

I then accidentally clicked send. Anyway, so now she’s been exposed, and it seems that she’s understandably angry about it. Obviously I have a lot of feelings here, the original harassment was considered a hate incidents. She’s now claiming harassment against me, but it seems that it won’t get far because the university haven’t contacted me about it and the police said that if my case is going nowhere hers definitely isn’t. I feel conflicted because I’ve sort of bullied my bully officially now (even if accidentally), although it took me about 16 months to get around to it. If anyone’s been through something like this then they know it’s largely psychological, and there’s an expectation for victims to be perfect which I just don’t get, especially when you’re someone else’s victim.

There’s way too much to put into this post, but this is essentially the gist of it.

AITAH?