I (29f) and my bf (41m) have been seeing each other for the better part of 3 years. Since the beginning we had discussed having a 3some with another female.. Something I was open to at the time. It's something I've done before with previous partners, and something I am definitely open to doing in the future if we have established the necessary trust in the relationship. Throughout our relationship he has been notorious for getting upset about something, ending the relationship, sleeping with someone else, coming back days later and love bombing me back into coming back. Which unfortunately I have fallen for too many times. This last time though, I made myself very clear.. crystal clear, that I never wanted to hear about bringing another woman into our relationship. He agreed Fast forward a few months, we are having discussions about things we would be open to trying in the bedroom. Intimacy has always been kind of a hard thing for me to speak up about but I felt at the time that I could be vulnerable and tell him things I might be into trying. I told him I would like to try being more submissive in the bedroom. My brain is so loud usually.. and I have so much anxiety when it comes to decision making that I think the idea of just being directed in the bedroom sounds nice. He told me he was open to that, that it sounded fun. His response was "if I truly could do whatever, that could be a lot of fun." To which I responded "I'd like to try that, I feel like we could have a safeword and.. maybe some sort of after care too just so I know you still love me after you have your way with me" His next message was "The problem is I'd make you eat pussy, and you ain't down"

Obviously this crosses the hard boundary I set with him prior and also makes that safe intimate space feel unsafe.

He then proceeded to say "Yeah, idk how were supposed to talk about things even in a hypothetical sense if we're going to scold eachother for it"

After I told him he crossed a boundary I clearly set for our relationship.. He went off to Vegas and ghosted me all weekend. I know him well enough to know he didn't do that alone.. I'm heartbroken and I'm done. Am I over reacting for walking away?