To get it out of the way, I don’t mean wanting to treat my partner as a wallet nor seeking a partner due to the amount of wealth they have.

I just have this belief that I just became conscious of: That you should get married in order to secure your needs more efficiently over finding the hottest or entertaining person you can obtain. A family is to humans a survival technique: protection, stability & validation.

You should marry the person who has what you lack, and that can mean anything and you must possess a trait that can equally fulfill your partner.

For me, that need was always financial. I’m dumb with money and I’m not motivated enough to obtain it. I’m on my girl boss grind and trying to possess those skills on my own, but I can’t help but admire people who have established themselves through grit -And being with a person with money is great, let’s be real.

If not self established, they at least for me have to have the knowledge and traits to get to a stable place and help me gain those skills and at least we can combine our income and prosper more than before together. People who are just rich only by association is not what I want specifically, but the stability is still there if I like them anyway.

My only requirements besides these things is that I enjoy the person and we have mutual respect.

So when I’m down on my luck, my mind goes to maybe trying dating. A friend called me out, stating that love, passion and attraction should supersede all & that I was (half jokingly) shallow for seeing marriage in a transactional fashion.

I can see where he is coming from a do feel a bit guilty-I have a tendency to approach life oddly, but my pov is that I’m approaching the dating pool with no one I already have a genuine connection with, I don’t think it’s unfair for me to prioritize this trait in my selection-AITAH?

Edit for clarification: he doesn’t even have to be the breadwinner, if he can help manage my income and we can live on a dual income- that enough. I’m not seeking opulence, just someone who is more talented than me in that way. I don’t intend to take more than I provide from a partner.

Final edit: Thank you, I realize that through this discussion that when I’m struggling, it makes me remember I’m single-I’m doing everything by myself because I’m alone and honestly I think seeking a partner in life is exactly that.