I (32F) and my partner (38M) have two kids (14monthsMale) and (1monthFemale).

My partner is a GREAT father to our 1 year old. He is not a fan of the newborn phase but is helping out as a lot with our daughter who just arrived a few weeks ago and I've no doubt as she gets older he will build the same great relationship with her as he has with our son.

The issue is my partner doesn't seem to want to do anything as a family outside of the house. He thinks going on a weekend trip as a family is a hassle/waste of money as the kids are too young, he doesn't see the point in playgrounds or play centers for our 1 year old as he thinks he too young (not walking yet), he even finds it a hassle to just go out to a cafe for lunch with the kids. I feel like I'm constantly suggesting things to do, and he just sees the hassle in everything.

I've been on maternity leave and pregnant for the past year and I'm kinda of going crazy in the house. I want to experience more/create memories both as a family but I also feel I've lost a huge part of my old self and would love some time away with my partner, just us, to reconnect like old times. But here is the thing, he is overly conscious when it comes to the kids' safety and won't let anyone besides his own mother and my mother mind the kids. Even at that he doesn't trust my mother to mind them. She offered to mind them for a couple of hours on the weekend so we could go off for a lunch date, but again, he said, "we can just take the kids".

Don't get me wrong, my partner is not in any way lazy. He's loves doing the garden and would literally spend all his time out doing it if he could. But life is different now, and I often think he struggles with not having that free time to spend on it anymore.

I expressed my frustration to him around feeling house-bound/losing my old self/us etc. He suggested I go on a weekend trip with my sisters. I told him he could do the same with his friends. When I suggested 1 night away for our 7 year anniversary. He immediately shut down the idea and sai, "we have kids now, we can't ask people to mind them" (please note, my mother would jump at the opportunity to mind them).

It's been really hard with our newborn (I think she's colic) and now he is saying he doesn't think he wants anymore kids. I was honestly so upset by this. I appreciate him being honest, but I always thought I'd have a big family and now even that want in my life seems to be slipping away.

I just don't understand his way of thinking. I feel trapped by his unwillingness to accept help, go out more with the kids, or just spend a little time to ourselves.

Am I being unrealistic here or expecting too much? I don't see the big deal with wanting these things. I'm not sure what to do.