Hi, so I (21f) and my best friend/ roommate (19f) got into a pretty big fight recently. we’ve been friends for 6 years and have lived together for a little over a year now. we have had disagreements in the past but always get over it pretty quick, but idk this time.

So she recently just got back with a situationship from two years ago, who i already was unsure of because of past issues with how he treated her, and specifically how she was borderline obsessed and acted like he was the only thing that mattered when they were together last. but i was willing to give him a chance. so they hung out last week and ever since then, they’ve pretty much not been apart. on the second night he stayed, I told her that i was fine with him being here but wasn’t comfortable with more than 3 nights a week, and she agreed. which from talking to other people and everything i've read, that seems completely reasonable. our lease also has very strict guest rules so he technically isn't even allowed to stay more that 2 nights a month. but the forth night comes around and he randomly shows up at night again, so i pull her aside and tell her that i was upset and think it is disrespectful that she is having him over again after knowing that i'm not comfortable with it and her telling me that she was fine with my boundaries that i set. but she apologized and told me she understands, and they went back to her room. i figured that was it and i was slightly upset that she disrespected my wishes and my comfort levels in our home, but whatever. and then he stays the fifth night. i didn't realize until the morning that he was here and i will say that i might have acted inappropriately in this, but i knocked on her door and asked them if they or he could please leave because at this point it was extremely disrespectful and upsetting that i have had to be uncomfortable with this stranger in our house now for 5 days and that i was lied to and my boundaries were crossed multiple times.

And now she has totally flipped and is saying she doesn't care about my boundaries and that i sound crazy and irrational and she can have him here whenever she wants because i don't get to have a say in what she does in our house (which i pay equal rent for). she basically just flat out told me that she doesn’t care if it makes me uncomfortable and i am in the wrong because i have no valid reason to have that boundary and that i’m just saying that to make her unhappy. which i feel is so hypocritical because her crossing my boundaries every single day in our house has been making me feel so stressed and unhappy. so im not really sure what to do about it and i feel like i was being completely reasonable with 3 nights and i honestly just feel uncomfortable with him being here often at all after all of this. am i wrong in this?