So me(24F) and my BF(25M) were randomly texting last night and I told him our hypothetical (!!! I’m not pregnant) first child will be named Rosario- whether male or female. It’s a name I picked years ago because it is my grandmothers middle name and I personally also really like it and am attached to it. He thinks it’s unfair that he gets no say in the naming of his first child, that I am taking his rights away. I tried to work out a compromise, I said he’d pick the middle name and the baby would have his last name anyways, and he can choose the name of our second hypothetical child. OR if god forbids my grandmother passes away before I have my first child then he can name the first baby and I’ll name the second one Rosario, in memory of my grandmother. He says it’s completely unfair and none of these are compromises and he’d like us to pick the name together and have Rosario as the middle name. To me that’s just not a compromise because I’ve always wanted that name and none other. I don’t have a list like him, it has always been Rosario.

For context, my grandmother raised me pretty much from birth. My childhood is a long story but my mother was my grandmother’s only child and she is very mentally unwell and always has been. She’s a felon, an addict, a prostitute, and living on the streets on the other side of the country right now. My mother was 17 and my father was 31 and married when they met. So he’s never been in the picture either. My grandmother doesn’t speak english and worked minimum wage her entire life to raise me and my brother and still does now at 68. She is the embodiment of the word selfless and anyone who knows her and her story would say the same. She is quite literally my best friend and my only family. I want her to be there for the birth of my first child and I would like to name the baby Rosario after her and for her to witness that.

Well the situation gets worse because he says that he’d possibly like to name his first child after his mother who “has done more for him than my grandmother has ever done for me”. That is where I unleashed all hell.

Say whatever you want about me. I’m unfair, selfish, stubborn, a bitch, I don’t care. I’ll probably agree with you. But NEVER disrespect my grandmother. NEVER compare her to ANYONE. I would never say something like that about anyone’s family, but ESPECIALLY I (ME) would never disrespect my grandmother in any way so for him to feel comfortable making a comment like that about her…. I was left in disbelief. We have been together for four years, he knows a lot about what I’ve been through and what she has done for me.

At first he said I was misunderstanding him and misinterpreting things but those were his words verbatim. He was very clear. He switched up quickly and apologized for it but I told him I just don’t want to speak with him.

Truly I think the comment came from a materialistic perspective and he meant that because I grew up poor and my grandmother wasn’t able to give much in that sense where as his family was, hence why “they’ve done more”.

THEN he has the audacity to break the silence and ask to borrow my car today whilst I was at work. (I have a car, he doesn’t). Just wow.

I have not spoken to him this whole day (Easter) and I don’t plan to anytime soon. I really view him differently after this.

Who is the asshole here? Me? Him? Both?