I’ve been with my bf for what’s going on 3 years, and during that time he would occasionally talk to his ex as well as her dad. I was pretty upset when I found out because I had not expected that from him, as well as the fact that he lied whenever I would ask (I had strong suspicions they were keeping in touch, but wanted to ask just to be certain). In addition, I was not talking to my ex or their family at the time, or ever, so I didn’t understand why he felt the need to talk to his.

This bothered me greatly. I wasn’t and I’m still not sure if he’s the kind of person who can have a strictly platonic relationship with their ex, with no feelings attached, and so I asked him to cut ties with her (her first). This made him really sad. He wanted and may still want to have both of us in his life, but I told him in that moment that most girlfriends would probably have an issue with this as it’s adding an unnecessary element to what could be a platonic relationship (as they’ve been intimate before and already have that level of attraction). He agreed to stop talking to her as it would make me feel comfortable and that all he wants is for him and I to be happy… as far as I know lol they haven’t spoken since and she has blocked him (respectful of the relationship he’s currently in, I would think).

Months later I find that he’s been talking her dad as well, during the time him and I have been together. They would talk on and off, same as his ex, and it’s mostly the dad initiating conversation. Sending pics of the country they live in as well as updates on things going on his life. The dad telling my bf that even though his daughter and my bf are broken up, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be friends. When I heard this I was shocked, because my bf and his ex had a toxic and abusive relationship from what I’ve been told…. My bf told me that him and her dad have a deep friendship; that he was like a father figure to him and they would share beers and have deep talks about life. I admire that and I’m glad he was able to experience that level of friendship, but at the same time it feels like he’s really holding onto the past and that relationship with her…. If I were a parent, I wouldn’t tell my daughter’s ex something like that. It doesn’t seem appropriate or respectful of the future people he may meet. Like he’s being manipulative of that and encouraging my bf to hold onto hope… and that bothers me because I exist… :/

I don’t want my bf talking to either them. It’s not something i would do and I don’t want to have to tolerate it. AITAH?

Edit: Also, if you were in my position, would you have a problem with this as well?