I 45m have a career working for the state. She 44f hasn't had a W2 job since we moved to a different state "so our kids would be in better schools" is what I was led to believe. That's another story. Every bill we have comes out of my paycheck I get 1x a month. Rent , utilities, and a car payment. After all the bills, I'm left with approximately 400bucks for food for the month and gas to work. She drives for rideshare apps and has never brought home consistent pay since we moved here and she started doing the contractor gigs. I never know how much she makes and where she spends her money. I do know she has to now pay her taxes she refuses to pay quarterly. So that puts the financial strain even harder on me. She says I need a higher paying job but this is the highest I've ever been paid. It seems like she only wants to work to pay her credit cards and to buy things. We have absolutely no money saved despite me doing the math and I should have approximately $2000 to save every month if we split the bills evenly. She would have $2000 extra every month if she had a regular paying job at my level. I've even offered to get her a walk on job with the state and she only tells me she loves to drive and work at night. BTW, I'm also the full time parent cause when she's here, she's asleep. The kids maybe get 8hrs with her a week. That's usually just before school. I pick them up and do everything after that and usually the weekends have me doing everything here. I'm tired, I can't change my life and career cause she doesn't want to work and be my equal. I'm so tired