This is kinda complicated and nuanced but the gist is my grandfather is dying and my mom has no where to go. My mom and I have lived with my grandparents my whole life essentially. There was a four year span where we lived in our own home with her ex( a whole other Reddit post would be needed to explain that) but I am 23 now and we still live in my grandparents home. My grandma passed away last January and I still struggle most days. She was more like my mom than anything. Again, a whole other Reddit post there. But anyway my grandfather is very sick with cancer, he’s currently in the hospital as I am typing this. We don’t really know how much longer he has. My best guess is a year but that’s just a guess. Could be longer could be shorter. But whenever the time comes , my mom and I will not be able to afford to live in the house on our own. She doesn’t have a “real” job ( she walks dogs and make little to no money doing it, she takes care of my grandfather most days) and I don’t make enough to support us both and the house. She is irresponsible and irrational and probably a narcissist. Growing with her was…. Not fun. Continues to be not fun. She’s bipolar and straight up a bully. Very manipulative. She has a lot of resentment, jealousy, responsibility, boundary, etc issues. You get the picture. My family is very old school Italian, and believes that the eldest daughter should take care of her parents until they die. She is doing that whether she likes it or not. She’s the first to admit she’s in the position she is in because of her life choices. On the other hand she is an expert at making herself the victim. When the time comes, I plan on moving into my boyfriend’s home, his mom has already said she will make her spare rooms a pseudo-apartment for us. But that leaves my mom… and her three cats. I can’t afford an apartment for us and I just know that will be what she’ll ask that we do. I would be jeopardizing my future. Not to mention I would most likely be stuck with her forever.. I also know that if I don’t take care of her in anyway I can, my family will be very angry with me for “abandoning” her. They’ve said in the past that I shouldn’t, and they get on my case anytime I leave her for too long?? Like she needs a babysitter? She’s 50. My one great aunt in particular has been angry with me in the past for spending a weekend with my dad’s family or sleeping over my boyfriends since my grandfathers been sick. It’s like my entire life is expected to revolve around him and my mom. I also can’t talk to anyone in my family about the situation because they don’t want to accept that he is going to die. But this was going to happen sooner or later. It’s impossible to bring up now.

What do I do?? I feel like I am in an impossible situation. Either way someone or multiply someone’s is going to be very angry with me.