My husband and I are doing long distance as we wait for a visa. I visit my husband in South Korea 4 times a year until we get our visa. I love my in laws they are really amazing people and I appreciate every thing they are doing for me. This isn’t anything against them but I feel like they don’t respect my time. Every time I come to Korea and my husband is working, they expect me to join them in their plans. Which is very nice but I also have my own plans. There is times that I would just be joining my father in law when he’s hanging out with his friends. It gets kinda of boring and there’s the language barrier.

Yesterday and today my mother in law took me with her sister to try on wedding dresses. I’m so grateful and I appreciate them. But after today’s dress fitting I wanted to see the cherry blossoms at a beautiful temple and do some shopping. My husband told his mom that too she agreed and seemed understanding. My mother in law and I even had a nice lunch earlier today. When I told my mother in law and her sister that I’m going to head to the temple her sister said “actually I’m really hungry we’re going to get lunch”. She dismissed my plans and then asked me about my shopping plans. I don’t know if she was looking to join? It was hard to tell her that I need to do my own thing.

Then yesterday my husband and I had plans for tonight for dinner. My father in law said in our family group chat that we need to see his friend. My husband said “I’m sorry we can’t attend. I have plans and I don’t get off from work until late”. My father in law said “ok we will talk about it when you get home from work”. My husband wasn’t happy about that and said his dad always does this.

Today I was telling my father in law I want to see my husband’s grandma (father in law’s mom) in June when I come back. My husband and I want to travel for a few days of vacation to spend time with her. My father in law said “well you might have other plans in June you can see her another time”. I think he meant the friend he wanted me to see. He mentioned us seeing him in June but damn like his own mom get this treatment?? No one is safe lol.

I’m also not missing anything special. They don’t acknowledge me in conversation when they are with our family and friends. I do understand like there’s an obvious language barrier. But my husband’s dad and aunt both speaking fluent English. So when I’m with them I just sit there as they keep talking amongst each other. I feel sad like I wanted to see the cherry blossoms at the temple and do some shopping. I’m losing my vacation time to do those things. His parents always overstep when we have plans together or if I want to do something when he’s at work.