20f, found out I was pregnant on Friday. It was not planned. I'm in my final year of community college (planning on transferring to a 4 year university this fall) and having a baby is not on my bingo card. I live paycheck to paycheck and I'm already in debt for having student loans (my parents would never give me their tax information for FAFSA so I had to take out loans to pay for school!) I live with two roommates as it is and I still struggle because I work part time at a fast food place.

My boyfriend 29m and I have been together since January and even though I was on birth control, he refused to wear condoms and claimed they hurt him. I missed my period for March and again for April and ended up taking a pregnancy test. My head has been spinning and I decided to tell my boyfriend today about this and my decision. His response was "I can't believe you didn't tell me right away" and he seemed upset that I didn't tell him exactly when I got the positive pregnancy test. I was telling him I needed time to process it and he got kind of mad and said "You kept a secret from me. I need to know you're making the right choices for our baby" and tried to end the conversation there. Like he had made up his mind and that was it.

I said no, I'm not ready to be a mom. Financially, emotionally, physically. I have a bachelor's degree to finish and I'm living off student loans and making $11 an hour at Subway. I said I didn't want to stay pregnant and was looking at traveling out of state to get an abortion and he got ANGRY. He said we "made a life and we have a responsibility to it" and tried to tell me I couldn't get an abortion or we were over. I'm like what the fuck? We've only been dating 3 months, I've only met his mom once and he's never met my parents (they don't approve of me dating but they also don't pay my bills and I don't live under their roof) I said he cannot control what I do with my body and that just made him even more angry. He threw a soda bottle at me and left my apartment all angry. He ended up texting my roommate who introduced us and called me a "murderer" and told my roommate all of my business when I didn't want anyone to know. Now one of my roommate's is mad at me for bringing "drama" and "making their friendship awkward" and the other one wants nothing to do with it.

I live in a very red state that has banned abortion pretty much. Neither of my roommates are willing or wanting to help because they don't want to get "in the middle" of my situation, and my own family isn't either. My parents are very conservative/Christian and would blow their tops if they knew about this (and I'm really thankful I never introduced him to them!)

My boyfriend texted me that I was "killing an innocent life" and a bunch of other things I don't agree with. He made sure to tell me I would "regret this" and that terrifies me. I feel so trapped. Every part of me knows I’m not ready to bring a child into the world, I can barely pay rent and afford groceries some months without going to my campus food bank, I’m trying to finish school, and I don’t even have a car. I want to to actually keep my future open but I feel really trapped and alone.

My boyfriend started demanding my parent's numbers so he can tell them how "shameful" I am and how we're "done" if I go through with this (which will honestly be a blessing in disguise) but I also don't want my parents to know because I will lose what very little support I do have from them. I now have to figure out how I'm going to afford traveling out of state, taking time off work, all of the other things I'm probably not thinking about right now. I managed to get an appointment scheduled but I also don't know exactly how far along I am or how this is all going to play out now that my boyfriend is angry and neither one of my roommates seem to have my back.

AITAH for wanting to get an abortion despite my boyfriend wanting me to keep it and have his baby?

Edit: If everyone who's commented or private messaged me nasty shit like I'm a baby killer or a whore or some other gross message in my inbox (or weirdly asked me for nudes, you guys are gross) sent me $5, I'd have enough to either have the abortion in full or have some savings put away to actually raise a child lmao. The pro-life keyboard warriors are coming out and I even have some people in my inbox offering to adopt the clump of cells they think is a baby. I do not want to have a child, not at 20, not now. I want to finish my degree and get a job that pays more than fast food. I know not everyone will agree with me but it's what's best for ME