I (30yr old F) have severe social anxiety, it’s gotten to the point where it is taking over my life. Despite this when I see a complete stranger who I think is in need or could use some kind words I get an overwhelming urge to say something to them. A couple days ago my boyfriend (29yr old M) and I went to pick up food. We were waiting in line for about 10 minutes and the entire time we kept hearing a baby crying. His mom looked a bit overwhelmed, confused, and maybe a bit embarrassed as to why the baby was crying unable to be comforted. I remembered watching a video on TikTok about how you can differentiate a baby’s cry and what the cry could mean. For example some cries could mean hunger or sleep or even trapped gas. I told my boyfriend about the video and said she would probably find it helpful to determine what was wrong with her baby and that I should tell her. He looked at me and said something along the lines of “she’s going to get mad that you’re telling her how to raise her baby” and “don’t tell black women how to raise their kids or you’ll get punched in the face” (I should probably mention he’s also black, not sure if it helps though). It made me feel like I was an a$$ for even suggesting it or like I just didn’t understand humans. This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this. We went out to eat a couple years ago and our waitress was in an extremely bad mood and almost rude, although it bothered me at first I started thinking that no one is in a bad mood for no reason and she’s probably just going through something. I got it in my head that saying something to her might make her feel better or at the very least she’ll feel seen by someone. I told my boyfriend I was going to tell her something like “I hope whatever is bothering you gets resolved soon”. My boyfriend almost panicked and told me not to because she’d feel like I’m calling out her attitude and again said something like I might get punched in the face or beaten up. While we were there we had a whole argument about why someone wishing you well would ignite anger when my intention was simply to make her feel better. I’m not sure if it’s worth it to mention that she was also a black woman.. at this point I’m not sure if my boyfriend just fears black women (which he says he doesn’t) or if he really thinks every stranger will take offense to what I say to them.. can you guys give me advice? And if you’re a black woman.. or a woman in general… or just a person 😭 can you please weigh in if these things would offend you? I’m already self conscious about myself and his reaction just makes me feel like a freak and more afraid to express myself.. or aita?