Hello everyone. I f(23) have 2 siblings m(25) and f(34). I have always been close to both my siblings growing up however my brother and sister would fight a lot. Our relationship with our parents was good in bad at times mostly with my father after he left us in around 2015 after the divorce. We stayed with your mother and she practically raised us. My big sister went and studied tourism which is hard for her to find a job and has been doing internships for the past 12 years of her life. My brother went to university to study media however he dropped out to start trading which went extremely well for him and he made millions however that did not last. He had moved out bought himself a fancy German car this was the period of 2020 to 2023. He will not tell us what happened but we can see that he does not have that much money anymore not that we ask him for money or anything but he will probably not give it. I am in university in my final year I still plan to study further after this year.

We lost our mother in 2022 to a hard fight with cancer. We only lived with her in our family home so after she passed the house was basically vacant because I was at school my brother was in another province trying to do his thing and my sister lived about an hour away from home. After the funeral my brother said he would stay home and take care of the house but this went terribly wrong. Every single time I would return home from school break with my sister we would find the house horrible conditions. The house would smell of alcohol we had a right infestation he would have parties every day the kitchen was a mess of food expiring and he refused to clean. He said he will call someone to clean and take care of the card this person would come once a week and would not be able to clean the whole kitchen and the whole house in just one day. Last December when I went home after university I found my bedroom having someone’s live in it vomit in my sink and urine all over my toilet with like five empty toilet rolls just sitting there it was not nice to see that when you come home. The same goes for other rooms in the house except for my mother’s room. I tried speaking to him and he got mad and defensive and said can’t have people over and I told him I do not want people over in my room and he said well whose room should they go and I told him I don’t care but not in my room. This is just some of the things he is doing at home the garden is overgrown and the house is a mess and smells constantly all the time. He will see he will call someone to come clean but even the person cleaning cannot handle all that mess.

After my mother‘s funeral in which was in March in around September he got two puppy Rottweilers without asking for my sister and I’s opinions. The living conditions after that just went downhill the dogs have never had a bath they smell they tear everything apart and that kept in a small space in the backyard. For my sister is still very much scared of them I try to be close to them sometimes but I don’t like them either I feel The a little too violent. Keep in mind that we had already had a dog the whole time and when my brother leaves home because he’s only there at like a three day basis and he’s gone like two months at a time he would ask what his friend just to come and feed the dogs but when he’s home he doesn’t even seem like he’s feeding the dogs cause I do I wonder if he does or he just leaves them I don’t know.

Formal context we haven’t lived with our father since he left in 2015 however after the funeral he wanted to come back into the picture which was a little uncomfortable . He would pass by and call and check in on us in the house because he lived elsewhere not too far away with his new wife and family.

He tried cheating us out of our mothers inheritance which he actually took a large portion of and we have to split the rest of between ourselves . We have not yet received a lot of the inheritance yet we are still trying to figure everything out even today. He would sometimes say that it is his house and he’s allowing us to live in it which is not very settling to hear.

I’m writing this because I need advice on what to do in the situation . I’m writing this because my sister went home recently and found the house as a mess which was my mom pride enjoy it has always been kept clean the garden has always been up to par. My sister called me yesterday and told me that when she got home she found the garden overgrown as in the last time it was taken care of was in January when me and her did it. She said that they had broken in and stole our electricity box our water pump for the house which means there was no water no electricity and the alarm system not working. She said that they are broken into the garage and stole a lot of things and left a suitcase filled with faeces behind. She called my father because she couldn’t stay in the house alone after what had happened and spent the night at his house which she did not want you. The next day my brother came back and then they went to the police station to open a case however he was already aware of everything and did nothing because his friend who goes to feed the dogs when he’s not there I told him what had happened when it happened and he still chose not to go home to look and fix anything.

I need advice on how to move forward the situation because my brother is not doing what he needs to do because he’s the one who volunteered to keep the house no one asked him to and when we see what is wrong and what we think he gets mad and defensive and does not wanna hear it . I am scared to go home because I have my safety on what will happen if I’m home while the criminals come back and drop the house this time when there is no alarm system in the police system is not the best of public come after 10 hours or the next day. I don’t wanna go home to messy house in which some random people having a party has slept in my bed and used my bathroom.

Please advise on the way forward should should my sister and I ties with him and ask him to stay at his own place and we will handle the whole house situation. He will be welcome home but he will not be welcome to do anything other than be at home no friends no parties no alcohol. It is not safe but I believe my sister and I will be able to manage on our own without his interference.

Also note that we only have one functioning car which is the car my mother left and he is holding because he does not want the court to stay alone at home and does not wanna leave it with my big sister who lives 45 minutes away from home and can come home every weekend to check in on the house but he thinks that she does not live in the safest place to keep the car there which is Just run in my opinion he just wants to keep the car for himself because every time I go home or we need the car we have to call him to bring the car back home and beg him and sometimes you’ll be like I don’t have petrol which is not fair to us For him to keep the car wherever he goes and we have to plead with him every single time we would like to use the car which he is not maintaining the windows don’t open it is constantly dirty and smelling and has not been to service. The last time I drove the car in December I had a puncture and the spare wheel had also a puncher and I had to stop in the middle of the road and call someone to bring a new tire which was expensive and I don’t think that is fair. They are three cars at home which are not working that are under his name that I think he can sell for parts and buy a secondhand car that he can do whatever he wants with and keep my mom’s car at home but at least with my sister so she can come home every weekend and clean and get a gardener but he refuses.

This is the first time on Reddit , I’m asking for help. I’m sorry if this is a bit long and confusing but I will keep up and answer any questions you guys may have.

What I think should happen is that maybe we should call a family meeting with my dad and one of my aunties and the elder cousins to sit down and maybe talk to him because my sister and I tried to in January which just turned out into a whole blown out fight between them . If he will not listen to reason maybe we should go no contact because I can’t go home and live in that situation. I think you maybe if he stays where he is my sister and I will maintain the house and he can come but just to sit and see the house and maybe go back if you if he wants to but not do what he’s doing . Would i be AH for going no contact.