Hi there, my (f28) partner (m30) is currently on a long weekend trip. I’ve received about five messages in 36 hours, none of those including what he’s doing, who he’s visiting, how the trip is going. Just an arrived at hotel, going to bed, that kind of thing. He planned very little in advance other than attending an event on the last day. He is very familiar with the city, this is not an exploration type trip.

For context, we have been together over four years, friends for longer, we live together, I manage the vast majority of our lives including finances (including budgeting and saving his money for his trip for him). This has created accumulating resentment for me and our relationship is rocky lately. We are both autistic and have struggled with mental health. I manage anxiety extremely well these days and often all I need in terms of help/support from my partner is information, especially as plans develop and/or change. We stay in touch even during work hours - a little vent here, a funny customer there, we spotted a dog.

I don’t expect constant updates. I don’t even expect frequent updates. He’s on a trip with a friend, I get it, I assume he’s busy. When he messaged going to bed after a day of next to no contact, I was hurt but understood, and did not make a fuss as I don’t want to hinder his ability to enjoy the trip. Knowing this man and his morning routines, I assumed he would check on me and give me a quick update during his morning chain smoking and coffee, but no.

As I said, I’m on the spectrum and sometimes don’t realize my expectations are unrealistic. My expectations derive more from how I’d act in the situation, and in this case, I would miss him terribly and want to maintain connection and include him in my world by sharing a few photos or a quick call to hear his voice. I am trying to not let my brain convince me that he feels/wants the opposite of those things. Or is this a great example of how little he considers me, how little he actually misses me, how little he wants to share small joys and involve me in his life?

Please, be brutally honest.