I (M27) want to move out and leave my childhood bestfriend (M27) behind. 10+ years of knowing each other. 1 year as roommates. Last year, my bestfriend offered me a room at this house he is renting where we would both save $500 extra off rent. I figured this would be a good opportunity for both of us to save money so I could knock out some of my personal debt and he can have a little financial room to breathe and support his newly born daughter.

Things were initially good in the beginning because I kept to myself and any mess that I did make, it was within my own domain and not the rest of the house. We would switch off on chores duties, buy & eat our own individual food, split the bills evenly, etc. That all went smoothly for about 9 months.

The past 3 months have been ridiculous, though. It all started to go downhill due to my bestfriend dealing with a medical injury, not being able to secure enough bartending shifts at his work during the slow-season, and baby mama drama, which I suspect all led him spiraling into a depression, being a blatantly crappy friend, and now he’s taking out his passive aggressiveness out on me. This manifests in him being too busy to pick me up from the hospital after procedure because he’s playing golf with other friends, expecting me to help cover late fees for rent because he wasn’t on time, and expecting me to buy laundry detergent even though I do my laundry at a seperate laundromat lol.

This is all after I gift this guy a new pair of shoes, buy him a new Xbox series X, spend time with his kid when he needs to take care of some things, buy him food when he doesn’t have enough money. He’s just turned into such an ungrateful and disrespectful person. And I don’t do those things expecting something in return, but it’s like dude, you can put a game of golf on hold to give me a ride home from a medical procedure? He has the audacity to make me pay more money because he can’t pick up enough shifts at his bullshit ass job? It feels like he’s trying to control me because he hardly has control of his own life.

It’s not my fault he’s got Stockholm syndrome and he gave away his extra saved income to a baby mama that doesn’t give a f*ck about him. She lives in a whole separate roof with her first baby daddy, and for him to believe “there’s nothing going on” is flat out denial. He’s willing to pay for couples therapy, but not singular therapy for himself? Buddy, move on. Fix your car, get a real career (trade apprenticeship, supervisor role, 2nd job, anything), stop being a financially broke cuck, be the father your daughter needs you to be. It literally boggles my mind, how can this guy lead by example as a father when he still lives like a stoner teenager?

Every time I do try to sit down and have a chat with him, he “shuts down” and doesn’t talk to me for like a day and then goes back to being the same person, so I kind of lost hope. He numbs the pain with alcohol, marijuana, gambling, and trauma dumping to his gaming buddies that didn’t even ask for it. And I want to give him the tough love advice and lay it out to him how I see it, but if I end up just making him more angry, I still have to live with a guy until I find a new place. So I’m kind of lost of what to do. I know I need to move out and the whole roommating with a best friend experience was a dumb mistake, but I’m debating on whether I should even tell him I’m moving out now. The only thing stopping me from giving him zero notice & moving all of my stuff out when he’s not home is the fact that he has a child. What do I do? AITAH for how I feel about all of this?