Me (42m) and my now ex partner (41f) met just after lockdown restrictions had lifted. Our first year together was amazing and genuinely thought I had found my soul mate.

I wanted to settle down and live a drama free life as any adult would want and felt we were on the same page.

I had a hard time at my job after the pandemic and found myself managing a business working 110 hour weeks and consistently let down by team members. But she was always there and I felt like we really complimented each other.

After I left my job I moved in with her partly out of convenience and we adopted two lovely little kittens. But when I moved in was when the problems started, things varying from:

I had to leave my stuff in a mouldy garage and everything is damaged and in need of disposing now.

I wasn’t allowed to put any of my clothes in the huge bedroom wardrobes and had to buy a cheap little one and store all my stuff separately in another room.

Constantly being psychoanalysed like I was on a dating show.

She’d never listen to my advice and once it cost her an extra £10k because she got a plumber in to build her kitchen (carpentry). Yet I never said I told you so.

I would have to listen to her problems but she wouldn’t even be open to listening to mine and then complain when I had begun walling off my emotions to her.

She then became abusive and I became distant, however I am no saint and I’m sure I must have let her down at points too.

I then decided to stop drinking and began enjoying a sober lifestyle which for some reason she was not pleasant about.

About a year ago a mutual friend of ours in an open relationship made a pass at her whilst they were out drinking alone in town (I have always trusted her character). She kept this quiet for months and eventually told me what our mutual friend had done whilst I was making us dinner.

She was in tears explaining this to me and I explained I didn’t blame her and that she was the victim. I would go and speak with our mutual friend and explain his actions were not ok and incredibly unethical.

She forbade from doing so as it would damage her social standing, as much as this bothered me I relented and made my first and only request I have made within our relationship and that was how I wasn’t comfortable with her hanging out with this boy anymore. She refused and continued to hang out with him and even told me when she got back home.

I also found out he had been telling his friends how much he wanted to sleep with her.

This was also the year I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was undergoing a bowel cancer scare for months making me really think about my own mortality.

Once I had my results back after minor invasive surgery, I found I didn’t have cancer and breathed a sigh of relief and started looking forward to the future again.

At this point she came into our bedroom and told me she didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore and asked me to spend the week sleeping in the bed of our mutual friend’s girlfriend for a week whilst she thought about things.

I reluctantly agreed and spent a week confused and angry about this whole situation sleeping in the bed of a man who had tried to ply with alcohol and sleep with my partner.

We met up again and it was decided we were to break up and leave things alone. She would keep the cats and I would move on.

Her keeping the cats did bother me but I know she would look after them well and they were in a hood and safe neighbourhood.

After I lived out I started finding out more things about her and our mutual friend, how he would ply her with alcohol and tell her all the things she wanted to hear.

He made another pass at her again as I had previously warned her about, yet was shot down again.

I bumped into her on New Year’s Eve whilst out with some friends and she sent be a barrage of abusive texts because she saw speaking to a female friend of mine who was in her own relationship.

I chose not to respond and try keep things as civil as possible and just do my own healing.

I then decided now was the time to remove her from family/friends WhatsApp groups for events she wouldn’t have been invited to anymore and I decided to remove her from my socials as I don’t really want to be exposed to her content presently.

Within half an hour I had another barrage of texts asking me to explain myself 🤦‍♂️. I just kept quiet again as I feel I no longer need to be part of her drama.

Months later I was asked to help with feeding the cats whilst she was away on holiday yet again and this time I received a phone call accusing me of conspiring to kidnap the cats (which I wouldn’t). I just hung up the phone and passed on her house keys to another shared friend of ours and explained it’s probably best I don’t go around there anymore.

None of our mutual friends have gotten in touch with me to see whether I’m ok post break up (I’m not) and she keeps on being abusive whenever we have any contact with each other.

With more information coming to light I have discovered one of two scenarios is true, she was either having an emotional affair with this boy (and potentially partner) or she is being groomed. Either way she chose them and the pub over her little blossoming family.

I just want to move on and she wants to drag us both back into this horrible vortex.

I need to know, am I being a prick?