Sorry for how long and rambling this is. I'm just venting and nervous and unsure about what to do.

My ex husband, Dick 27M, and I, 25F, got married when I was 18 after only a year of knowing each other due to religious reasons. We were married for 6 years. During those 6 years, I'd wake up to him touching me down there almost every night and sticking his fingers in my back door despite me repeatedly telling him I didn't want him doing either of those.

He also r@ped me once, waking me up in the middle of the night to ask me for s*x, and he wouldn't take no for an answer, so I grudgingly agreed but only if he promised to stop if it hurt me and I asked him to. It hurt and I asked him to stop, but he didn't even even I was crying from pain. He also forcibly touched me without my consent when we'd just started dating and I was 17, and my first org@sm was nonconsensual.

I know I shouldn't have married him, but I was way too young and naive and thought he did it because he loved me, and I thought getting married was the only way out of the situation without sinning. (I'm an atheist now and don't have those beliefs anymore, but it doesn't change the fact that none of it was consensual back then).

I finally am realizing that I want to press charges and for him to face the consequences of his actions, but we share a 7 year old son, and I'm afraid of hurting my son. He's a decent dad but kind of uncaring and has part time custody, and I know my son would be devastated to not have his dad in his life.

I know my ex isn't a good person even now. He has never apologized for what he did to me, he had sx with a 17 year old girl when he was 26, he repeatedly shows that he'd rather be petty over putting our son first, he cussed out me and my current husband in a school group chat, he tried to convince me to have sx with him when I was in a serious relationship with my now husband, and he never calls our son even though my son has asked him to, and he only has custody for 10 days/month.

I know my family would take my ex's side over mine in a court case as they all share a religion and like him a lot more than me, but I also have screenshots of texts from my ex agreeing to having assaulted me when I asked him about it, and he also admitted it in couple's therapy.