I (28F) and my bf (31M) of almost 4 years are co-signed together on a loan for his car. I felt kind of pressured into it and here is the story of how it all went down. (Tried to keep it short but it’s a lot and long)

Back in April 2023, his car broke down due to negligence on maintenance. He was very upset & lost and I wanted to be helpful and offered $500 to put towards his new car. My thoughts were this is a good start for him to save up $500 for a deposit on a loan, or to save the rest to buy a car. I also offered my support by giving him rides to work when I could, and he has 4 family members who could also give him rides.

Fast forward to June 2023, and he has saved nothing. He also was looking online and became very fixated on new Kia optimas. Don’t ask me why. But this car dealership in town had a 2019 Kia Optima available for $18000. I took him to look at it and he was not approved for a loan on his own, due to him not doing his taxes & being self employed it was really hard to prove his income; or the dealers were being sleazy and he did not make enough income for the car. I actually years ago had a loan through this dealership and I knew they were very pushy and it was very easy to walk away with a car. I offered to Co-sign for some stupid reason, and we got approved. Probably due to my extra income and 600 credit score. At the time I’m making Min wage of $15 an hour. With the approval it was for the grand total of $20000 car loan, with $2000 deposit and $500 monthly car payment. Also insurance would be $200 a month because Kias are so easy to steal. I didn’t want to discuss this in front of the dealers and so I went outside. The dealers were scrambling to get all the paperwork set up. I texted my BF to not get the car, and that it’s a bad idea. When it was time to sign the final papers he came outside to get me. I begged for us to think about this overnight but it was a futile argument and I caved in and signed the papers. It is important to note that when I told him he could not afford the car, he said “with my job I have no limits on my income, what I make in a week is uncapped. I will have no problem with the car payments” Also he gave the dealership $100(what he made from work that day) and that was enough for the keys. He knew I saved up $2000 after Ive struggled financially for over a year, and I had to give all that up for his car deposit. He said he’d pay me back, which he paid part of it back with a personal loan he pulled out for $1,400. And the remaining is left unpaid.

I refused to pay anything on that car, and so the first time he was behind it caused a fight I wouldn’t help. But I’ve given him $20-50 at a time when he asked because something auto pulled and now he can’t pay the car payment multiple times. And I even gave him $300 towards new tires.

Fast forward to now April 2025, he is $3000+ behind on this car loan. Anytime I’ve tried to talk budgeting he has shut me down. The interest rate has skyrocketed to 20%, which makes me feel like this will be a never ending loan. I have brought this up and suggested that we return the car. He said the dealership won’t take it because they want him to owe them money. Also we’ve fought about removing my name from it & with it always behind idk if it’s possible. Also he is behind in a bunch of other bills including the car insurance. Credit karma says he’s made 49% of the payments and none of the full car payment amount this year.

Today my car broke down. And here I am stuck with a now 400 credit score, and on a behind loan. I have $3000, but would prefer to get a car loan myself for $1000 on a car $10000-15000 instead of spending all of my savings on another beater car. Because the economy is so trash right now. I want to take this situation into my own hands although I am so clueless. Any advice would be appreciated, also should I get a Lawyer involved if it’s impossible to remove myself from the loan? I am worried that removing myself would result in an instant repo, since I know he would not forgive me. His parents also refuse to co-sign on anything for him. But would I be an asshole if I did repo his car behind his back?