Hi y'all. I need clarity and thought about posting here to see if I could get some opinions or like how my friends and I like to call it "onions".

AITAH for wanting to take back my father's invitation to my ceremony?

I (23F) will be graduating from college. My parents are divorced, and my father is remarried. He (47M) lives out of state on the other side of the country with my stepmother, stepsisters (2), and my younger brother.

Note: Parents don't get along, haven't seen each other for a decade, and neither my mother nor my father's family likes my stepmother.

Anyways, around last summer, I decided to reach out to my father if he would like to attend my graduation ceremony. This invitation was meant in particular for him however, I was aware this also meant his remarried family would tag along. At the moment of the invitation, I had an idea of what attendance would be like for the ceremony, in particular regarding ticketing. Lots of universities only give 3-4 tickets for the graduates' family/friends. However, I wasn't aware of how many we would receive at my university, thus I made sure to mention that some family members would have to wait outside.

My father accepted my invitation and even suggested throwing a small dinner get-together to celebrate. I agreed and mentioned that my mother had suggested doing the same. He suggested that if we wanted to we could host it together and that he could contribute for half the cost. I asked my mother (42F), who agreed to the suggestion and was quite surprised that he suggested that.

Fast forward, I found out around February that we would be receiving 5 tickets for the ceremony. I come from a big family because of my ethnic background, so I knew this would be a difficult decision for me about who would get to attend the actual ceremony as it was indoors. I thought about and decided what my pick would be. With only five tickets in mind, I decided my mother, my younger brother (mom's side), my father, and my paternal grandparents would attend. I decided I would attempt to get more tickets but I didn't know how likely that was.

Luckily, a friend said she could give me two of her tickets. I decided those two would be either for my aunt (my father's younger sister), or my uncle (dad's younger brother), and/or my maternal grandma. I eventually called with my father during his birthday, and I mentioned how I would possibly only have 5-7 tickets, and that would mean some people would have to wait outside during the ceremony.

I then found out that because of this, only my father and my younger brother would be flying out for my graduation. This meant those going would be: my mother, little brother, father, younger brother, paternal grandparents, and maternal grandma.

Move forward to a couple of days ago, I was on call with my older step sister and my father and explained that because it was only 7 tickets I had already chosen who was going to enter with those tickets and that it was highly unlikely I'll be able to get more. About 10 minutes after our call, I get a message from my father saying "So...tickets will actually be required for the ceremony....then can you get a ticket for your stepmother?".

I replied that I was only able to get seven tickets and who they were for, and that me getting finding another ticket was not possible as seating was limited due to it being indoors. I also mentioned that I did try to get more with the goal of getting my aunt, who has played a significant role in my life, like a second mom. In addition, I added that these tickets were meant for people who were close to me and not for anyone else.

My father proceeded to dismiss everything and reply with "alright, I'll just bring her in with your brother's ticket," to which I replied that my brother needs his ticket or else he can't enter and that the ticket was set aside for him, little brother, not his mom. He blamed me for supposedly knowing that they were going to give me seven tickets, yet I still invited my stepfamily. I reiterated that I had mentioned before that some people would have to wait outside with the rest of my family, who can't enter either, and that this invitation was in particular for him, even though the others my tag along.

My father completely changed the blame and mentioned how I had told them that my mom didn't have an issue with my stepmom coming. Don't know why he brought that up but he did. In this same text he sent he also reiterated that I never mentioned the tickets, and that's why all of them were coming to the ceremony, and that if I just didn't want any of them attending.

I reached out to my aunt, who is like my second mom, explained the situation and all. She got on a call with my father and disputed with him as she was appalled at how my stepmother was so adamant to be present in my ceremony when she hadn't done anything impactful in my life, nor had she earned the respect and affection from me to have a close-nit relationship. In this call, my father decided he would say that I had even suggested a dinner get-together to do together with him and my mom, and that he didn't understand why I didn't want to give a ticket to my step mom.

I'm hurt but not surprised by this situation, as my stepmother has always treated me with hostility and jealousy, even though I am just my father's daughter, but she saw our affection as something negative. Due to her presence in my father's life and mine as well, my father and I grew distant ever since my parents' divorce. My stepmother was the influence behind my father's decision to give up his custody of me, not wanting to pay child support, not wanting to help me with a small allowance while I was in college or not even lending me like 40 bucks when I was so broke I only had 10 dollars in my bank account enough to survive and I lacked money for food and basic needs,

I think I am at a point in my life that I know I don't want him to affect me again like before, and I am heavily considering taking back my invitation to him to attend my graduation ceremony. I think it's such an important accomplishment in my life as I am the first in my family to graduate from college being first generation and I worked my butt off to get this degree. I wish not to have to stress out about this but I feel guilty of wanting to remove his invitation.

Type your opinions or suggestions on what I should do because I really don't know.

with loves,

your new reddit poster :)