i (16f) am dating j(17m). I am unlabeled, but i beleive im bisexual with a preference for women. my ideal partners are usually woman. ive always gravitated towards lesbian porn when it comes to choking the chicken as straight porn is just weird or boring to me. i always used to feel a sense of shame when touching myself, but my boyfriend reassured me that im not disgusting (but he doesnt know im touching myself to girls). ive told him before that when i masturbate i dont do it to pictures of him because it feels embarrassing and degrading. Me and my boyfriend have sex once every week to once every two weeks so i dont masturbate often. but when i do , its to lesbian porn. ive also been with mostly men in the past but ive dated women as well. it also might be important to mention that ive been SA’d in the past by a man and thats why i dont really like straight porn? but im not sure. i do get turned on by my boyfriend but i just feel like a degenerate to touch myself to him without him knowing and lesbian porn has always been my default to watch. (edit: he has shared that he touches himself to pictures of me and i was fine with it , he knows i dont like to touch myself to photos of him. he just doesnt know what i touch myself to and he knows i dont touch myself often)

is this cheating ? am i wrong for watching lesbian porn? should i not be touching myself at all? pls lmk