Hi, I'm Jack (17M). I never had a proper relationship with my father (43M) due to his narcissistic personality. I genuinely had enough, I'm posting this to let my feelings out because this is absurd.

Details About My Life:

Just to give a bit of background about me: My parents got divorced when I was around 8 years old, and I stayed living with my dad while my mom moved somewhere nearby. My dad isn’t the type of guy to just move on and forget about her. He is obsessed with her, always mentioning her and trying to annoy her at every chance possible. For example, she started stopping by in front of our apartment before school to make sure we were doing fine and bring us some snacks and lunch for school, but my dad took this personally and started threatening her, saying that if she came anywhere near our house, he would call the police. She’s checking on her children and bringing them lunch before school—how is that wrong?He accuses her of teaching us bad things to do to him when we go over to her house on the weekends. Whenever we come back, he says, 'You’re acting different now; they infected you,' etc. I’ll just leave it at the stupidity here.
(For reference, I have a 1-year-older brother (18M, John) from my mom.)

My dad would call my mom the worst kinds of names, cuss her out in front of us, absolutely trash her, and curse out her family. Saying such things and behaving like that in front of a 10-year-old is diabolical. Despite the emotional burden of him badmouthing her in front of us, he would also say that she taught us to do this and that to piss him off, etc. I still had an amazing childhood, thanks to my mom’s support; she was my go-to for everything. I would tell her about my dad’s abuse, but she would comfort me without saying a single bad word about him, even though he did. We kept living like that for a while.

Things only got worse moving forward. In 2023, we had to move to a different state due to an accident (I won’t go into details to stay anonymous). This led to me losing my home, school, social life, and friends. My best friend passed away alongside many other friends. We moved to a different state, so my life changed overnight, and I lost everything.

We flew to that state because my dad was already there on a work trip. and settled there.
Around March, my dad decided to register me in a school in the new city, but I was mentally unstable and couldn’t bear going to another school after everything I had been through. So, I dropped out and started doing online school.

Being home all day led to more clashes with my dad, and his abuse escalated. I thought he would stop after everything that we went through but he was already back to his toxic crap. One day, my dad called me, but I didn’t come immediately because I had just gotten the news that my best friend had passed away. I was just sitting in my bed mindlessly in denial; my 15-year-old brain couldn’t process any of the stuff that happened because it felt unreal.

So my brother asked him to let me be, telling him that I just received this unfortunate news. My dad said, "No, screw him and his friends—let him come here now." Imagine how I felt after hearing him insult my dead friend like that. How cruel could he be?

Days passed, and his attitude and cursing only got worse, but we got used to ignoring it. Whenever he did something or cussed her out like that, we would just laugh and act like nothing happened—just ignore it, you know? And he would get furious because of this, saying things like, 'You truly have no dignity.' Like, what the hell do you expect me to do when my own father is cussing out my entire family in front of me for ridiculous reasons?

This was a way for my brother and me to cope because if we focused on every word he said, we would go nuts.

Let’s look at things from his perspective: He is always the victim, and I am making his life awful. I’m the one responsible for all of it, since I make him do these things. I know this sounds ridiculous, so let me explain more. Apparently, I piss him off so much that he has no choice but to cuss at me. Like, how can you not hold your tongue when talking to a 15-year-old? What justifies treating your kid this way? I honestly don’t understand how he thinks it’s okay to do all that.

For a dad who thinks everyone is trying to destroy him and that our mom is telling us to annoy him and make his life worse, I honestly think he needs help. He tried so hard to gaslight us into thinking that our mom was a horrible person and tried to get us on his side by acting like that. But too bad for him—we were smart enough to see through it and understand what kind of person my mom really is. His attempts to worsen our relationship with her only strengthened the bond between us.

This post is already getting too long, but I have to provide these details so you guys could understand the type of relationship I have with my dad.

Life kept going, and I kept ignoring him, which really had a negative backlash on my mental health, I

I grew up as a chubby boy and got bullied a lot, which made me super sensitive and anxious about my looks. Therefore, I started going to the gym and working on myself, and I actually improved a lot. But guess what he had to say about this? :)

He said that this is bullshit and dieting is making me weak, and I should eat as much as I could to build muscle. He doesn't know how a caloric deficit works, so he just kept abusing me in that regard.

Later on, I applied for an online job to have some sort of income and keep myself busy. I got accepted, and guess what he had to say about this? :)

He bought me a laptop back in 2020, but he took it and started using it himself. So he bought me another one before I got the job, and I started working using the new laptop. Things were great—until we got into a usual BS argument, and he went ahead and took the laptop from me, saying, "This is mine—go ask your mom to buy you another one," two hours before my shift.

I was left devastated and had to explain to my manager why I couldn’t make it that day. Days passed, and things kept going this way—he’d take the laptop over the slightest argument and leave me in a rough spot like that. He even called my manager once and started yelling—God knows what he said. My manager is kinda related to my dad, so he has his number and gets to have these types of conversations with him.

But regardless, this is a professional environment—my manager can’t afford to lose an employee over the slightest incident with his dad. Therefore, he decided to let me go after the first month due to my dad’s madness. So I just lost a job and a way of income over his BS.

Fortunately, we worked things out later on, and I kept the job. And I kept working, avoiding arguments so he wouldn't take away the laptop. I eventually saved paycheck after paycheck until I bought my own laptop so he wouldn’t be controlling me all the time. I also bought a phone and I was getting everything I wanted without asking them for anything, which should be great—I’m now making my own money, maturing, and not putting financial pressure on him. But guess what he had to say about this? :)

He was pissed—God knows why. I guess his bossy mind didn’t approve, and he wants everyone to stay dependent on him.

For reference, my stepmom had two kids with my dad (8M and 1F). By the way, 90% of these events and the cursing happen in front of his wife and little brother, so they hear him trash me daily. This only led to me being hated and disrespected in the family.

He always tells me to go live with my mom and leave because I’m "ruining their life," and all this is happening because of me—manipulating me into thinking that this is all my fault and basically guilt-tripping me, which unfortunately works thanks to my weak personality and him playing the victim card all the time.

He even asks my little brother to tell me to leave and live with my mom himself—"Tell him to go to his mom and that you hate him"—as a joke. For f***’s sake, what type of joke is this? He’s been doing this for as long as I can remember—let’s say three years. So how can you expect a 5-year-old to not take this seriously, especially after witnessing all the stuff that’s happening in the house too?

This made my relationship with my little brother worse, which is heartbreaking because I care about him so much and want the best for him. I always look after him since his mother doesn’t care at all, They started giving him electronic devices from the age of 3 or 4, which is super bad for a child’s brain. to make things worse, she feeds him the worst kind of foods, which is making him gain a lot of weight. This is triggering to me because I went through the same thing and still struggle with weight loss to this day, so I don’t want him to go through this struggle like I did.

I tried warning my dad and saying that this is unhealthy, but guess what he had to say about this? :)

He was mad and furious, saying that "he has his parents now, and we don’t have a say in any of this" (me and my older brother) and that we "shouldn’t get involved—it’s none of our business."

So my dad created tension between us, and me looking out for him (not letting him use electronics too much) made our relationship worse. He sometimes says he hates me, which is unfortunate.

This post has gotten too long, and I don’t know if someone is willing to read something this long, but we’re already here—no point in deleting. I’ve been typing this for an hour now.

To Sum Things Up:

These are the things my dad has done to me:

-Always badmouthing my mother and insulting her in front of me.

-Being against everything I do (working out, dieting, etc.).

-Ruining my chances at my online job by doing childish stuff.

-Ruining my relationship with my little brother as a "joke."

-Manipulating me and guilt-tripping me all the time.

-Always threatening to kick me out of the house and destroy my belongings.

After knowing all these details, you know this isn’t your typical teenager fight with a parent—it’s deeper.

We can get into the problem now,

The Incident That Happened Today:

We are currently struggling financially. Last week, my dad asked me to get a job to help him out (my current job is part-time online and doesn’t pay much and I'm keeping that money for myself). But honestly, I don’t see myself contributing to this house with any money after all this treatment imagine paying just to get treated this poorly.

I ignored these thoughts and looked for a job in a few stores around, but no one was hiring, so he asked me to keep trying until I found one.

I woke up this morning and saw them drinking coffee and having a wafer with it. I joined them to have some myself, only to see my stepmom feeding my sister a part of the wafer. As I mentioned above, my stepmom is uneducated and irresponsible; she doesn't know that feeding a 15-month-old baby these types of foods is wrong. This is a habit of hers that I've been ignoring for a long time.

I really care about my little sister She is my everything, and I want her to grow up healthy. So I interrupted, saying that these processed snacks are super unhealthy we shouldn’t be eating them as grown-ups, let alone giving them to a 1-year-old toddler.

She responded by saying that this is 'her business' and that she wants her daughter to 'eat everything like normal human beings' (implying I'm a picky eater).

So I said, "Yeah, but that’s not how it works. You should be feeding her real food instead of processed snacks."

My dad tried to stop me, but I didn’t stop. This was a crucial matter my little sister’s health was at stake, and I didn’t want her to get hurt because of their ignorance. I kept arguing, trying to convince her, but she didn't listen. My dad eventually said, 'Enough, shut up, or I’m gonna cuss your mother.' I would normally stop to avoid worse arguments, but this time I was so angry and said:

"Okay, go ahead, tough guy do it, cuss her. You think you’re the sht! I couldn’t give less of a f*** it’s your loss. You’re losing our respect by acting and behaving like that. What do you think your wife feels hearing you obsess over your ex from 10 years ago? It’s pathetic."

He was silent, probably shocked that I stood up to him, until I asked how he’d feel if I cussed his mom like he does to mine. He raged, saying things like, 'How dare you try to insult your dad and compare yourself to me!' Then he made a scene.

He eventually stopped, grabbed both my laptop and phone, and started leaving the house. I tried to stop him, saying, 'This is my property, and I need it. you don't get to take it ' but he just told me to 'F off' and walked out.

I'm home alone, writing this on my brother's laptop, and I honestly don’t know what to do at this point. I've had enough. His abuse is only going to get worse after this incident because I didn’t let it slide as usual and took it this far.

I usually talk about stuff like this with my mom, but she's on vacation, and I don't want to burden her with it. I'd appreciate a second opinion on the situation. I just want to know what you guys would do if you were in my shoes.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this.