Hello everyone! Recently, my girlfriend (41f) and I (40m) had a major argument. For context, she works for a personal wealth management team within a major investment bank.

I am a very open person with personal relationships and we had been together for only about a year, but the relationship seemed strong and I felt it had some legs. I went to her house one Saturday afternoon and arrived later than anticipated (I called and said I was running late). When I arrived, I apologized and let her know why I was late—my aunt had called and wanted to discuss/clue me in/be candid that she had grown unhappy with the long-term financial advisory team who manages a trust established by her husband (my uncle—she is my aunt by marriage), of which I am a beneficiary. She is the executor. Hence, the call to discuss things. Wasn’t a problem and girlfriend wasn’t mad I was two hours late.

Later the following week, she sent me a text asking if my aunt had taken any action. I said “no, she is exploring options and meeting with people as far as I know.”

A few hours passed and she texted me again. This time asking if my aunt would be interested in meeting with her boss. I thanked her for the consideration but that I don’t feel comfortable suggesting it and “crossing the streams”. She seemed to understand and I wasn’t upset—it was just a passive ask and I even felt it was nice of her to try and help out by offering.

That weekend I went over to her house again and as I was preparing dinner, she brought up that if the personal connection was as a concern, her friend works on a different team and she wouldn’t be involved in any direct way. I said “no thank you. I don’t think that fixes the hesitancy because there is still a personal association there and i am not involved in the management of the whole thing I my input isn’t needed.” I was friends with her friend as well. Rather, friendly with and we got along and such.

A few days later, I get another text about this while I was at work. This time saying, “I talked to [friend] and her and her boss are really excited to meet your aunt—would she be willing to meet for dinner?” I said something akin to, “no, I don’t think she would want to and I don’t feel comfortable asking. Can we please not talk about this again? I’m not involved in any of that and I would like to stay in my own lane. I’m not sure why you talked about this with [friend] because I said I wasn’t doing this the other night?”

Went over for dinner and to stay the night following day, and we ended up getting into in argument about it. I told her that I felt like I wasn’t being heard and she got defensive—saying she was just trying to help. I felt bad because she seemed downtrodden about it so I decided to shoot her friend a text and just let her know that I appreciated the willingness. Then explained why (same reasons as mentioned prior). Her response was: “hey, I am not sure what you are talking about? I haven’t heard anything about this?”

That kinda bugged me—girlfriend has told me about this person’s excitement to meet aunt and all that. So, I told girlfriend that I had texted and that her friend didn’t know what I was talking about. We ended up getting into an argument and in the moment I asked if there was an angle or something, why she told me about the friend when that was not true, and told her I that should go home and cool down. I did. I thought about it for a a few days and I just couldn’t really work it all out in my head—it didn’t add up to and I felt uncomfortable. So, I asked her to talk and we got together and I told her that I am not comfortable continuing the relationship right now and we can take a pause and think about things and talk it through later or we can just end things here—but either way I wasn’t comfortable currently and I didn’t think think we could have the open conversation we need to have to make this work at that time. Staying together without a resolution is wouldn’t work and we need to resolve things before we continue because as I said, “I’m really confused about basically all of it.”

She was DEVASTATED. Absolutely. To the degree I certainly felt/feel like crap.

Tell me, did I grossly overreact to the situation? AITAH?