I was invited to go to a bachelor party for my brother in law. I’ve known him since he was a kid since I’ve been with my now wife (33F) for a long time. He considers me to be a mentor, father figure, and a good friend.

The bachelor party is in a different country and is going to be for a few days at a resort. It’s not family friendly and very much a party scene. Though I’m not huge into that scene anymore, I still wanted to go celebrate with him and have a good time.

My wife and I both work very hard and money isn’t the issue. It’s surprisingly affordable actually. The problem is my wife wants to go. She feels it’s not fair that I get to have a vacation and she can’t go. I tried to explain to her that I was invited and didn’t choose the location or anything. If her sister had a similar bachelorette party, I wouldn’t expect to be invited to that regardless of where it will be.

He really wants me to be there and so does everyone else.

So, I ask, am I the asshole for wanting to go and her not going along.

Edit: yes we have kids but her sister will be able to help out while I’m gone if I get to go.