I'm not trying to say I'm not ah but since everyone is commenting about me saying agreement felt symbolic at the time, I said it because that's literally how it was. It was very random, they asked us in the middle of unserious conversation and if I'm being honest my wife did say no at the time. I asked why us and why not someone who they are related to and they joked about it and about only option being grandma who is an alcoholic. The mother of the kids used to joke with my wife like "where do you keep the bodies" and stuff like that as a joke and I even brought that up jokingly like how would you leave us with your kids and we laughed it off and they also thought the whole agreement wasn't that deep. We were also somewhat drunk at the time. At the end we agreed and signed the stupid paper and the rest you know.

For anyone still worried about the kids, I want to inform you that they are staying with us for now, they're safe. I want to say that they won't go back into group home and I really don't want that to happen, but I talked to the lawyer and he quite frankly told me that currently adoption rates are low in the whole country, even babies aren't being adopted as much as before, let alone two emotionally disturbed older kids. He told me that realistically they would stay there and not get adopted because that's the case for a lot of older kids, that realistically kids over the age of 3 hardly get adopted here. And how the whole system is wrecked and there are big chances that they would ne involved in some type of criminal work by the time they are adults. It would be best if we actually took them in, but I also asked him if they have any other possible guardians and he said that the parents haven't listed anybody.

I thought about this the whole day, and honestly, I can't put them back there, especially reading comments when somebody said that there's a really high chance of them getting sexually assaulted, and I just can't do it. I don't know how and what to do, but I don't think I will be putting them back into that place.

I talked to my wife about the possibility that we adopt them and while she doesn’t want them to go back into that group home, she's not very open to adopting them. I don't know what to do. We argued and now we're not talking, the kids didn't see that though they were asleep. I feel trapped and it's my fault, I know but this is the lowest point in my life. On top of that the little girl thanked us for taking them in and I feel even more shit.