I (21f) already told my mom I didn’t want to share a room with her (32f). So the cruise is next year for my cousin’s graduation and my immediate family is going, as well as both sides of my cousin’s family aswell. (Already talked to him about it imma just take him out for his birthday a month later) This whole plan came up maybe 5 days ago and almost everyone has their rooms booked or on hold. I had already told my mom I didn’t want to go because I don’t want to spend the money but I could pay the entire amount today, I just cant stand the thought of rooming with her. She also refuses to tell my sister because she thinks she can convince me to pay and go. And my sister gave her deposit to my mom 2 days ago.

I have many gripes with my sister. I have 4 sisters but she was the one I grew up with until i was about 9 and she got exposed for lying about being at work and being pregnant at 19. A whole lotta mess followed she moved out and in and kicked out, stole from us, and in again a few more times for like 5 years with 3 kids and her husband. Until my nephews went to kindergarten then CPS got involved because they weren’t potty trained and covered in bruises. We then find out they were living in horrible conditions, being beaten bad, and the boys’ hair smelled like pee so bad. 4 years into my family fostering them, they give up parental rights, and we adopt them. During the first 2 those 4 years i was in highschool and spent the last 2 years of my time as a student taking care of them. Literally raising my sister’s kids, taking then to school, getting them ready for bed, i was the one who took the youngest to his first day of school. My parents were extremely strict and I wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends more then maybe 4 times a year. And I spent summers watching them. I was soooooo suicidal because of my strict parents and not being able to leave the house or have access to my phone the way I wanted. Still depressed bit but now I can actually go out just not at night.

ANYWAYS

She has since left her husband and going through a divorce from him. Was she also getting abused? Who knows because my mother has asked her a few times and she says no and the kids have never said anything about it. Now she has moved to the same city as us. And of course my mom is happy to have her daughter back but I’m finding it really hard to just accept her back with open arms. I haven’t really been close to her for 10 years and my mom and her expect me to act like no time has passed?!?!?!?!? She has been fully back in our lives for maybe 1 1/2 years and is insufferable. She is constantly talking down on herself while comparing herself to me, when her and I are out with the kids she pretends she is the one raising them, and she acts like she knows me. I also have a thing where I don’t like people touching me and she insists on making a show of hugging me and throwing herself on me infront of everyone. She also thinks she needs to make people laugh but she does it by making fun of others. I cant fucking deal with it.

Here is where it’s making me feel like an ass hole. My mom got her super excited about it and she has actually been doing pretty good for herself and I can tell she missed her family and being connected. She helps the family out alot where she can. And she was also excited about sharing a room with me but she thought I was going to be hanging out with her the whole cruise, this will be her first cruise. This isn’t my first cruise and i usually run around he boat with my cousin. When I told her that, she almost cried. And that sealed the deal that made me not want to go. I haven’t officially backed out but i never sent a deposit and already told my mom I don’t want to go. But my mom told my aunt (grad boy’s grandma) that I don’t wanna go and she text me to call her and not tell my mom. So I think she is going to try paying for me but I don’t want to go.

Should I suck it up and kiss 900 dollars goodbye, let my aunt pay for it and go anyways or stand up to my family?