For context I'm 19 & my cuz is around the 16 age range. We have been BEST friends as kids and I often considered him like a brother I never had. The following story is a chunky one, my apologies.

So awhile ago my cousin was in a desperate attempt to sell his PC & I came up with this idea where we would pack up the computer and see if anyone locally would be interested in buying it. So here we are knocking door to door, carrying a PC all over the place seeing if anyone is interested. And as it was bound to happen we ran into a couple of really rude & garbage individuals.

We go to knock on this guys door and he's already coming at us before we even knock, and he informs us that we need a permit to be selling door to door (which i had no idea ngl) and then begins to be increasingly rude and start recording us & everything. So we start walking away from him & I ask him why don't we go back the way we came instead? of going down this random street? (I'm really bad with directions). He replies to this question with "Shut the hell up." in a completely serious tone. Now keep in mind this is my little cousin telling me this. I didn't even tell him anything, I figured maybe he was stressed out and I dropped it.

So with that being said, months later the conversation comes back up, he's saying he doesn't have anger issues, and I mention the time he told me to "shut the hell up" and he tells me I'm "soft" and that he "WOULD DO IT AGAIN" and that it was a stupid question so I got a stupid answer.

So at this point I begin cutting him off because I felt like I put up a clear boundary, and he blatantly started disrespecting it, but he's family & nobody else knows I don't wanna be around him anymore, so inevitability he ends up coming over to my house for a weekend. It was a great time, we had fun, took a walk, played some games etc. The beef didn't come up at all but it was clear the tension was in the air that day.

Even though we had fun I wanted to make sure he understood that I'm still not gonna talk to him if he can't respect my boundaries. I hadn't told him anything YET tho. And that's when his mother calls.

I walk in the room and I hear her talking about how my cousin called her "bruh" and she feels disrespected when he does that. He was talking about how it comes out naturally and he can't help it, he doesn't wanna think about what he says etc. Essentially he started making a bunch of excuses, so I chimed in and said "But are you at LEAST gonna try not to do it anymore?" and she went "RIGHT?" and started talking about how if she feels disrespected by something he has to AT LEAST try not to do it anymore. And shortly afterwards they end the call.

Now the perfect opportunity had come to come to an understanding with him. So I tell him that call was a perfect example, his mom was setting up a boundary and felt disrespected and, he didn't understand why it was disrespectful and made excuses, and with me he just told me he'd do it again, and completely invalidated both of our feelings and didn't even mention he wouldn't do it again to either of us.

So I explain to him what I did was called setting up a boundary because I felt disrespected, and he told me he didn't understand why I felt disrespected, and i said "THAT'S NOT THE POINT." The point is when you do something that violates my boundaries you have to stop or i'll just have to ghost you, can you do that?

He told me he can but he doesn't want to.

So at this point I'm at a loss. I'm like why is he being such an asshole? I decide I should let my auntie (his mom) know why I no longer will be hanging out with my cousin, and she apologized on his behalf and said she would talk to him.

I wake up to these messages.

This is the first one from my cousin. (3:43PM)

"yo bro, I’ve told you plenty of times “I’m sorry” I understand what you said. Shut the hell up was rude and so was saying I’d do it again. Like i’ve told you I didn’t mean it in a disrespectful way, I was mad in the moment and I apologized for that the first time. Then I overdid and said “I’d do it again” That’s my fault. Though it was an honest statement if i’m in that situation I may do it again but like I said it’s not disrespectful, and I apologize. Same with my mom, I dont do it on purpose in the moment iit just slips out. I feel like it wasn't anything, I feel like you're being butthurt over nothing. Thats how I truly feel. Yet, I still apologize and I wouldn't purposefully say that to you, in a harmful way. This is my final time apologizing to you. I clearly can't really express to you I get your side in person, or maybe you can't get mine. I don't know but if you can't handle my apology, or understand the truth of it happening again. We just might not be mean't to be around each other."

and then my sister sends me this screenshot of a message he sent to her afterwards. (8:57 PM)

"Tell your brother, that he can keep my mom out of it. Instead actually talk to me like a man instead of running to out parents we too old for that."

Apology screams I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry to me. Hundreds of hours, time & money wasted.

TLDR; Cousin tells me to shut the hell up in a heat of the moment situation, I let it go, but it comes up in convo again. He tells me he would DO IT AGAIN. I start distancing, but he comes over to my house, we talk it out, he admits he doesn't wanna listen to my boundaries. I inform his mother why I'll be distancing and he messages me back later with a half-assed apology.