Recently divorced of a 10 year relationship and glad to be out of it, during those years my friends have become friends with my ex. Context most of these friends were my brothers friends first one we were kids like since middle school, but over the years became my friend as well. Now we didn't become super close but they were fun to hang with, like gaming parties or board games, even DnD. Then ad my ex in to the mix around my early 20s. So mind you all these friends are male, and it felt like they got a long with my ex just a bit better because they were guys. Makes me feel left out like when I was a kid just because of my gender. So now a days now that we just separated my ex has been toxic and threatening gaslighting(a good reason why I left) but in front of everyone talking shit about me and trying to to play the victim. There are some of the friends just saying good luck to both of us and don't want to pick a side. They just have loyalty to my brother. But here's my problem with them being friends with my ex. He has shown me that he keeps tabs on me, for what reason I don't know. My previous ex did the same thing. It bothers me so much. A part of me feels like oh who cares if he knows things about me, I'm not doing anything wrong. Another part of me feels like it's a invasion of privacy I feel creeped out and angry I don't want to be talked about. So I have told some of them that I am sorry but because of my past and what my ex has shown me I am uncomfortable being friends with them if they still want to be friends with my ex. I feel awful about it, I don't want to not be their friend but I can't find peace in that. I feel like I'm being an asshole just asking them to pick or telling them. I haven't told all of them but I am about to. And I'm not sure if I'm being a shitty friend. If it's the right thing to do in this situation or what.