Throwaway because I have friends on my main.

My parents (45F, 40M) got divorced when I was 2, and I'm 15 (male) now. I don't remember a time when they were together. My dad got officially remarried when I was 8, but my other dad (42M) has always been in my life. They were best friends for a long time. Like I have photos of both of my dads holding me the day I was born because he came to visit my parents in the hospital.

I want to say I love all of my parents obviously. And I've been given the 'all families look different' speech my whole life so I know that you don't need the traditional two parents man and woman set up to be a real family. But things at my mom's are just... bleak? I feel bad even thinking it, much less typing it but my dads' house is like a home. My little brother is there. If I'm going to have friends over, it's over there. They're always down to do stuff together.

My mom's house isn't like that. And I feel bad comparing them, but it's the truth. She never talks bad about my dads because she never really talks about them at all, but she gets kinda weird when I bring up my little brother. It feels different there. And I get she's always tired because she's by herself and has to support the house on her own but it just kinda sucks. And sure it's nice to get away from my brother sometimes but I also feel like I missed out on a good week when I was stuck at my mom's, even though that's so shitty of me.

I kinda want to start staying with my dads full time. Does that make me awful, abandoning my mom? I'm gonna start driving soon so I can still go see her at least. I just know this would really hurt her feelings.